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CATS SIT ON YOU - the new Story Pirates album is out now!

Illustration by Camilla Franklin

Illustration by Camilla Franklin

The Story Pirates’ new album, Cats Sit On You is out now! The follow-up to our award-winning album Backstroke Raptor, Cats Sit On You features more of your favorite Story Pirates songs remixed and mastered to add to your playlists and listen to anytime. For more info on how to listen to and celebrate the release of Cats Sit On You, visit storypirates.com/cats!


Webby Award Acceptance Speech

Illustration by Camilla Franklin

Illustration by Camilla Franklin

The Story Pirates Podcast season three won a Best Family and Kids Podcast Webby Award.⁣ ⁣ ⁣ Since the season ended last week, we thought it would be a good time to celebrate the kid authors behind this season's stories with a video of some of their traditional five-word The Webby Awards speeches!⁣

Find out first about the new Story Pirates album, brand new shirt designs, and Creator Club tools, and enter to win a free season 3 poster here!

 
 

Hedgie and the Cloud Kingdom/Floor Juice (feat. Lilli Cooper)

Illustration by Camilla Franklin

Illustration by Camilla Franklin

The Story Pirates head home and are surprised by what they find. Featuring two new stories: “Hedgie and the Cloud Kingdom,” a hedgehog dance party anthem featuring Lilli Cooper, by Naomi, a 9 year old from California, and “Floor Juice,” a story about a new beverage that the world is definitely not ready for, written by a 9 year old from California named Ayana.

Find out first about the new Story Pirates album, brand new shirt designs, and Creator Club tools, and enter to win a free season 3 poster here!

Hedgie and the Cloud Kingdom

by Naomi, age 9 California

One day a little hedgehog named Hedgie went to a fair. She saw some bright colorful balloons. She took the balloons and floated up to a cloud that turns out to be a magical cloud kingdom. There she found other hedgehogs from all over the world who had also floated up to the cloud kingdom with balloons. The cloud kingdom was the best! It had everything a hedgehog could wish for. It had other hedgehogs to play with, lots of balloon games and plenty of tasty snacks. After a while the hedgehogs began to miss their friends on the ground. So then all the hedgehogs went on a quest to get back to the ground. They waited until it was a foggy day when all the clouds get lower so they can climb down the clouds like a staircase. Then when they are low enough they jump onto a building then onto a tree then onto the ground. Their hedgehog friends were so happy to see them that they smothered them in hugs.

Our adaptation of “Hedgie and the Cloud Kingdom”was written and produced by Eric Gersen, with vocal arrangements and direction by Jack Mitchell. 

Floor Juice

by Ayana, Age 9, California

Milly: OK, I’m going to grab my vitamin-- whoa!

Shauna: Milly! You knocked over water!

Milly: Oh well, time to clean up this floor juice.

Shauna: Floor juice? What’s floor juice?

Milly: Floor juice! Floor juice is dirty floor water!

Shauna: What if the water on the floor is not dirty?

Milly: The water on the floor always turns dirty once it touches the ground! And before you ask, floor juice can be any type of liquid! Apple juice, orange juice, lemonade, tomato juice, pineapple juice, seaweed juice, punch, banana juice, brain juice, anything!

Shauna: OK, but tomato juice, seaweed juice, and brain juice all sound disgusting. But can I try some floor juice?

Milly: OK, but it’ll cost you a dollar.

Shauna: Here’s a dollar.  SLURP!  Boy, does that taste good! Let’s have a floor juice business! Yee-haw!

Milly: Ain’t that a wonderful idea!

Shauna: Sugar, let’s start spillen’ and let’s start picken’!

Milly: “Picken’” ain’t not a good word for this situation. How ‘bout “collectin’” or somethin’?

Shauna: I always thought I was the smarter one. You are, sis!

Milly: Get spillen’, y’all!

SPLISH! SPLASH! SPLISH! SPLASH! SPLISH SPLASH!

Shauna: Now, let’s get collectin’!

WHIP! WHIP! WHIP!

Shauna: Great job, y’all!

Milly: I wouldn’t say “y’all”, there’s only two of us.

Shauna: Oh. Right.

Milly: Now we need to make a stand!

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BANG! BANG! BANG! WHIRRRRRRRR! WHIRRRRRRRR! KKSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Milly: Shauna, I think we’re done.

Shauna: You betcha, sugar plum.

Milly: Let’s hop to it! 

Shauna & Milly: HERE HERE, NICE FLOOR JUICE HERE! Y’ALL BETTER GET SOME B’FORE WE RUN OUT!

(voices all around)

Milly: I hear some! Round ‘em up, y’all! (I’m talkin’ to the floor juice, Shauna. I’m tellin’ ‘em to round up the people by having ‘em drink ‘em).

Shauna: I hear yeh, sis. I hear yeh.

Milly: Here, little lady! Have some floor juice!

Little kid: Wittwe wady? Wittwe Wady?! I’m a wittwe wady! I’M A WADYYYYYYYYY!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Shauna: Now you made that little kid think she’s a lady and think she’s 27 and now she’s runnin’ ‘round lookin’ for a job. Good job, Milly.

Milly: Oops! Sorry. 

Shauna: Here!

Milly: Here!

(repeat “Shauna: Here!” and “Milly: Here!” 12 more times (they're saying ""here"" because they're giving out floor juice))

Milly: We’re done! And I’m glad everyone likes our floor ju--

Everybody: PBBBTTTT! (sound of spitting) GROSS!

Shauna: We set everybody flyin’. Wonder why the floor juice turned out bad in the end.

Worm: I’m a worm! I’m a boy worm! And this “floor juice” is the perfect bath tub for me! THE END!"

 
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The Strawberry Band/The Angel Pigs (feat. Karan Kendrick)

Illustration by Camilla Franklin

Illustration by Camilla Franklin

The Story Pirates finally reach their space destination and meet a queen (Karan Kendrick). Featuring two new stories: “The Strawberry Band,” a song about a Beatles-esque rock band and their encounter with a shark, written by Nathaniel, a 5 year old from California, and “The Angel Pigs,” a story about entrepreneurial flying porkers, written by an 8 year old from Massachusetts named Olive.

Tune into an all new live virtual improv show based on kids’ ideas Fridays at 7pm ET by starting a free Creator Club trial here!

The Strawberry Band

by Nathaniel, age 5, California

One day there was a band that takes place on a farm. When they play concerts, they turn into strawberries. When they are done, they turn back into humans. 

One day they were at the beach swimming too deep. Then a shark ate the band. When they were inside the sharks tummy, they played music and turned into strawberries.  Everyone knows sharks are allergic to strawberries, so the shark throwed up fromThe strawberry band. 

The band was so excited they said hurray, let’s go back to the concert hall.  When they were back stage they said let’s write a new song called everyone knows sharks are allergic to strawberries, so they did. 

Then they played the song from the stage right on the first set for the first song. Then right after, they played everyone knows sharks are allergic to strawberries 2. Everyone in the audience didn’t know about this song called everyone knows sharks are allergic to strawberries 2.  But they liked it very much. 

After the concert, they had Brookies and lemonade for everyone at the show. The food was free and everyone enjoyed it so much. 

The band took pictures of band members with the audience. Then hugged each other and went back to the farm to sleep. 

The end. 

Our adaptation of “The Strawberry Band” was written and produced by Brendan O’Grady, with vocal direction by Brendan O’Grady and Jack Mitchell.

The Angel Pigs

by Olive, Age 8, Massachusetts

Once upon a time there were five flying angel pigs who lived in the clouds. They owned a business of making beds out of clouds. They wanted to sell their beds to Earth but they did not know how. One day one of the pigs said, “Why don’t we use a car to get down to Earth?” So they tried it. It did not work. They tried an airplane. They tried stacking each other on top of each other. They tried a diving board. But none of them worked. One day they decided to take a hay and pig wagon. It was a long drive so they listened to podcasts with headphones on. It was a very long drive, but it worked! They went to the market and sold their beds! But when they were all out of beds, they had to go back up to the clouds. Then they got more beds and did it again. They were very happy! THE END.

"

 
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I Have A Cookie/Three Little Phones (feat. Eddie Cooper)

Illustration by Camilla Franklin

Illustration by Camilla Franklin

Episode Description: The Story Pirates meet a shapeshifting alien full of nostalgia. Featuring two new stories: “I Have A Cookie,” a soulful number sung by Eddie Cooper about a huge treat with a long life, written by Natalie, a 7 year old from Massachusetts, and “Three Little Phones,” a modern take on the three little pigs, written by a 9 year old from Virginia named Colin. 

I Have a Cookie

by Natalie, age 7, Massachusetts

I have a huge cookie.  I am going to eat it.

It took me years to eat that cookie.

I'm not even done yet.

It's taking me forever to eat that cookie.

I'm 100 years old by now.

The earth is destroyed by now.

But the cookie still lives.

Our adaptation of “I Have a Cookie” was written by Michael B. Wells and produced by Brendan O’Grady with vocal direction by Jack Mitchell.

Three Little Phones

by Colin, Age 9, Virginia

Once upon a time, there were three little phones and a mama computer.  One day, the mama texted her kids to go out and make their own houses because one plug for them to charge is not enough for all four of them.  But, she told them to beware of the big bad virus.  So, they set off to find a place to build their houses.  Later, they found a quiet, peaceful neighborhood where the virus was sure to never come.  

        Right away, the first phone started building his house out of phone cases he bought on Amazon. The second phone built his house of of metal from E-bay.  The third phone built his house out of firewalls.  He got them from using some persuasion so the programmers gave him some.  

Later that day, someone very scary came...the big bad virus!  He went over to the first phone’s house.  He was bored and he wanted to have some fun, so he whispered, “Little phone, little phone, let me in!”  

But the phone replied, “Not by the bytes of my Wi, I, Fi!”  

So the virus hissed back, “Then I’ll hack, and I’ll hack, and I”ll hack into you!”  

So the virus hacked a robot to bomb the first phone’s house apart, then glitched him out.  Still bored, he went to the second phone’s house and whispered, “Little phone, little phone, let me in!”

But the second phone replied, “Not by the bytes of my Wi, I, Fi!”  

So the virus hissed back, “Then I’ll hack, and I’ll hack, and I’ll hack into you!”  

So he hacked ten robots to bomb his house, because the second phone’s house was stronger.  Then, he glitched him out too.  Still bored, he went to the third phone’s house.  And he said, “Little phone, little phone, let me in.”

But the third little phone replied, “Not by the bytes of my Wi, I, Fi!”  

So the virus hissed back, “Then I’ll hack , and I’ll hack, and I’ll hack into you!”

So he hacked into twenty robots this time to bomb the house.  But it didn’t do anything because the firewalls made it invincible.  So the virus got 100 bombs and tried it but it had no effect and he got so frustrated that he went through the drain pipe.  The third phone saw this so he set some debuggers at the end of the drain pipe.  The virus squeezed up the drain pipe and was shocked by the debuggers and he never ever bothered the three little phones again.  So, the phones lived happily ever after. 

"

 
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Sarah’s Song Story/The Door That No One Could Open (feat. Julie Andrews)

Illustration by Camilla Franklin

Illustration by Camilla Franklin

The Story Pirates’ ship enters one of the galaxy’s most dangerous spots, the Switcheroo Zone, and items on board start randomly turning into other things like spaghetti, space raccoons and...Julie Andrews. Featuring two new stories: “Sarah’s Song Story,” about a girl who confronts her fear of clowns, written by Ella, a 9 year old from New Jersey, and “The Door That No One Could Open,” a story about a frustrating trip to the bathroom, written by a 9 year old from Illinois named Claire. 

Watch a special edition Pride Story Pirates improv show from your home this Friday at 7pm ET! This week’s show is free!

Sarah’s Song Story

by Ella, age 9, New Jersey

Sarah was afraid of music. Why was this girl afraid of music? Because once she had a dream that she went to a concert where the lead singer was a clown. This upset Sarah so much that she decided never to listen to music again.

Every day, Sarah packed her earmuffs and earplugs for music class. The worst part was Sarah’s mom was a singer. When her mom practiced at home Sarah would hide in her closet.

One day, her mom asked, “Sarah, why are you so afraid of music?”

Sarah replied “Mom, can we talk about this some other time?”

“No Sweetie, we need to talk about this now. You’ve been running around with your earmuffs and earplugs and you can’t even hear me when I ask you to clean up your room.”

“Fine,” said Sarah, “I had a dream that I went to a concert where the lead singer was a clown”. 

“Sarah, it sounds like you’re not afraid of music, you’re afraid of clowns.”

“Oh, right. That makes much more sense. Thanks for helping me realize that. Let’s celebrate by singing a song I just made up called ‘I hate clowns’”.

THE END

The Door That No One Could Open

by Claire, 3rd grade, Illinois

Once upon a time, there was a little boy named James. One day, James was eating breakfast when he had to go to the bathroom.

He ran down the hall, and tried to open the door. But he couldn’t. He leaned back, and turned the doorknob as hard as he could.

“Mommy! Daddy!” he yelled. “I can’t open this door!” His mom tried. She tried as hard as she could. She leaned back and tried to twist the doorknob.

“Mommy! Daddy!” they both yelled. “We can’t open this door!” Grandma came. She tried to open the door. She leaned back as hard as she could. 

“Mommy! Daddy!” all three of them called. “We can’t open this door!” Grandpa came. He tried to open the door. He leaned back as hard as he could.

“Mommy! Daddy!” they yelled. “We can’t open this door!” This time they called the police. The police tried to break down the door. Instead, they broke the doorknob off the door.

They all called the doorknob replacing company. The doorknob replacing company was not very good at replacing doorknobs. 

“Mommy! Daddy!” they all shouted. “No one can open this door.”

Finally, they called the fire department. The whole fire department came in and the firetrucks. They caused a flood in James’s house.

They called Dr. Binky Boogle on the 13th story of Barnes Hospital. He was not much help. He just gave everyone pills. Soon there was a large pile of pills on the floor.

They decided to cut down the door with a hatchet. The head fireman was just about to do it when someone came out. It was James’s sister, Bella. 

“Do you mind? I was trying to go to the bathroom!” she said.

 
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The Weird Food Club/The Girl Who Painted Everything

Illustration by Camilla Franklin

Illustration by Camilla Franklin

Lee gets inside the heads of his Story Pirate friends. Featuring two new stories: “The Weird Food Club,” a story about a group of friends who rally around gross meals, written by Brooklin, a 12 year old from Pennsylvania, and “The Girl Who Painted Everything,” a story about creating art everywhere you go, written by a 6 year old from Virginia named Jane. 

The Weird Food Club

by Brooklin, age 12, Pennsylvania

Kaitlyn (excitedly): MOM! MOM! MOM!!!!!!

Mom (Laughing to herself): What?!

Kaitlyn: What’s for breakfast?!

Mom: Blueberry pancakes, why?

Kaitlyn: Because I want to try them with ketchup!!

Mom: What?! Why!

Kaitlyn: Because Jack said that it was good…?

Mom: Ok, you can try it, but what if YOU don’t like it, even though Jack likes it?

Kaitlyn: I’ll just feed it to Henry! He’ll eat anything!

Mom: Ok… Get the ketchup out…

Kaitlyn: YAY!!!

---Kaitlyn opens fridge---

Kaitlyn: Oh no! We’re out of ketchup!

Mom: That’s too bad.

Kaitlyn: It’s ok though. Jack said that if we’re out of ketchup I should try it with bbq sauce, mustard, or relish. But I think I should mix all 3 together and pour it all on my pancakes!!

Mom: Your friend Jack is kind of weird!

Kaitlyn: I know right? That’s what I like about him!

Mom: All right. How are you going to mix all the condiments up?

Kaitlyn: I’ll pour some of each into a cup and mix it together!

Mom: Ok…here’s your cup… Are you sure you want to do this Kate?

Kaitlyn (gulps): Yeah.

---Kaitlyn pours mustard, relish, and bbq sauce into a cup and mixes. Then she pours it on her blueberry pancakes---

Kaitlyn: Ok! Here goes nothing!

---Kaitlyn takes a BIG bite---

Kaitlyn (gagging): Ewww! Gross!! Here Henry. You can have the rest.

Henry: Yay! Tanks Kaitywn!

Kaitlyn (still gagging): You’re welcome. Hey, mom? Can I have a glass of lemonade to wash this down before I leave for school?

Mom: Sure honey! Here you go! See you later! Have a fun day at school!

---Kaitlyn leaves and goes out to the bus---

Later, at school…

Kaitlyn: Jack! I did it! I did it!!

Jack: You did what?

Kaitlyn: I ate the blueberry pancakes with mustard, relish, AND bbq sauce!! But I did NOT like it. I fed the rest of it to Henry. After all, 2 year olds eat ANYTHING.

Jack (gives Kaitlyn a high five): Nice work! I guess that means you’re in the Weird Food Club!

Kaitlyn: Yay! It’s a dream come true!! But shouldn’t we have more people, like you, me, one more boy, and one more girl?

Jack: Sure! Great idea!

Kaitlyn: Alright, I’ll go get 2 more people.

---Kaitlyn walks around the blacktop, looking for people who look good for the club---

Kaitlyn: Hey Frank! Have you ever had a weird food combination that was totally gross?

Frank: Yes! I think I have! In fact, last year, I ate a pickle with an Oreo and cheddar Pringles! Gross huh?

Kaitlyn: Yup. Totally super gross.

Frank: You know it! I threw up like, 10 times after I ate it!

Kaitlyn: Wanna join the Weird Food Club? Jack made it up. You’re perfect for it!

Frank: Sure! Thanks!

Kaitlyn: No problem!

---Frank walks over to Jack while Kaitlyn goes looking for a girl to be in the club---

Kaitlyn: Hey, Gail! Have you ever eaten a super gross food combination?

Gail: Ummmmm… I think I have! A few years ago I put crispy bacon in my lemonade. Then I drank (and chewed) it! It was soooooooo gross. After one sip, I had to pour the rest down the drain!

Kaitlyn: That sounds SUPER gross. How would you like to be in a club with me, Jack, and Frank! It’s called the Weird Food Club. All you have to do is eat a weird food combination and you’re in!

Gail: Cool! Then I guess I’m in!

---Gail and Kaitlyn walk back to Jack and Frank---

Jack: Ok. Recap…what was everyone’s weird food that they ate in order to be in this club?

Kaitlyn: This morning I had blueberry pancakes with mustard, relish, and bbq sauce!

Frank: I had a pickle with an Oreo and cheddar Pringles.

Gail: I had crispy bacon in my lemonade.

Jack: Gross…but cool! I have eaten many weird food combinations in my life, but the grossest one was when I ate Cheerios with warm orange juice!

Kaitlyn, Gail, and Frank: GROSS!!

Jack: I know right?

Frank: So what exactly do we do in this club?

Jack: Well…every Friday at lunch, we all try a new, weird food combination!

Kaitlyn, Gail, and Frank: Cool!

Jack: Nice. Glad you guys are excited! See you tomorrow!

Later, at Kaitlyn’s house…

Kaitlyn: MOM! MOM! I DID IT!

Mom: You did what?

Kaitlyn: I got into the Weird Food Club!

Mom: Is that why you did that with your pancakes?

Kaitlyn: Yes!

Mom: What do you do in this club?

Kaitlyn: Every Friday, Jack, Frank, Gail, and I sit together at lunch and we eat one weird food combination each! It’s AWESOME!

Mom: Sounds super gross!

Kaitlyn: Not super gross…super AWESOME!!!!!

The End!

The Girl Who Painted Everything

by Jane, age 6, Virginia

Once Upon a time, there was a girl who loved to paint. And one day she had an idea. She would paint EVERYTHING, so she went outside and painted the grass. And she painted the yard. And painted the sidewalk. And the car. And the house. And she painted people – even their faces. She covered every single surface in the neighborhood. Then she went back inside and painted more things. The table, the kitchen counter, the sink, and her ear. And she painted the dogs spots so that they went away. And she painted her stuffed animals, and the waterbottles. She painted her only special painting. And she painted her mom’s computer and she painted the fire hydrant purple (because she had an indoor fire hydrant). Then she painted the TV. And then her mom was covered with paint. Then everyone stormed out of their houses and screamed Aaaaaah and cried Waaaaa; and then her mom said oh my gosh I do NOT like red trees. She only didn’t paint one thing. Her nose. Because she just thought her nose was perfect. The end.

 
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The Girl Who Wanted To Eat The Sky/The Dice That Didn’t Want To Be Rolled (feat. Aneesa Folds)

Illustration by Camilla Franklin

Illustration by Camilla Franklin

Rolo gets a puppy and learns some hard lessons about pet ownership in space. Featuring two new stories: “The Girl Who Wanted To Eat The Sky,” an uplifting song about a girl (Aneesa Folds) with an appetite as big as the heavens, written by Olivia, a 5 year old from California, and “The Dice That Didn’t Want To Be Rolled,” a story about a dice who dreams of a life beyond their board game, written by a 9 year old from Australia named Annabel.

Watch a special edition Juneteenth live Story Pirates improv show from your home this Friday at 7pm ET! This week’s show is free!

The Girl Who Wanted To Eat The Sky

by Olivia, age 5, California

One day a girl wanted to eat the sky because it was so beautiful and one day she asked her parents "Can I eat the sky?" Her parents said "no." One day a genie came he said "do you have a wish?" The genie asked, "yes" said the girl. "Then what is it?" asked the genie." "It is that I want to eat the sky," said the girl. The sky made her sick and her stomach hurt so bad. The genie tried to test out why her stomach hurt. Her mother took her to the doctor. The doctor said "did you eat anything that you're allergic to?" The nurse said "Hm... did you eat the sky?" And the girl said "yes" and then the doctor said that she has to take a long rest for the whole day. And then the next day, she felt better.
The end

The Dice That Didn’t Want to be Rolled

by Annabel, age 9, Australia

Once upon a time there was a dice named Jeff. He hated being a dice because there were so many downsides to it. Like being rolled around all day, bully’s at school, thanksgiving and more you could probably think of. He hated being around his parents because they never let him on screens and always say “Comb your hair, Jeff. You don’t want to make a bad impression on our family.” Or “Jeff, sweetie. How do you use a computer?” He hated his life on the board. So, he set of on an adventure to find a game without dice. He tried monopoly, Yahtzee, Cluedo and Articulate. None of them had any spare spaces for a piece in the game. But as soon as he was about to give up, he saw something. There were two knights sent by a King and Queen. They were putting up a sign. it read” Dear townsfolk, me and my wife, the Queen, are hoping for one of you to be in our board game. I know what you're thinking, what’s the game and how can he read minds.? Well firstly, our board game is Chess. Secondly, I can read minds. That is all. Signed the king.” So, Jeff auditioned to be a piece. He got the part of a knight. He was carved into the shape of a Knight in chess and he lived happily ever after. And he never got lost. THE END.

 
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