The Missing Golden Eggs/The Super Secret Sassy Story (feat. Jana Schmieding)

During a visit to Great White Shark Cafe, Peter faces off with a fearsome shark (Jana Shmieding). Featuring two new stories: “The Missing Golden Eggs,” a country tune about a desperate goose who jumps to conclusions too easily, written by a Sophie, an 8 year old from Maryland, and “The Super Secret Sassy Story,” the wildest story about writer’s block you’ve ever heard, written by two siblings from New York named Francis, age 12, and Olivia, age 9. 

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Illustration by Camila Franklin

Illustration by Camila Franklin

Listen to the episode, and scroll down for the original stories!

Original Stories

The Missing Golden Eggs

by Sophie, age 8, Maryland

Once upon a time, a goose had a golden egg that never hatched, but she still loved it. It seemed that her owner never noticed it. But one day when she woke up, HER EGGS WERE GONE! Her owner MUST have seen it !!!!!!!!!!! She was desperate to get her egg back. She clucked at her owner every day, but he did not respond. He just looked at her, smiling. One day the goose escaped and saw her owner’s house. She checked everywhere, but she could not find it. Then suddenly her beloved egg fell from the sky! When she looked up, she saw an egg-eating eagle flying in circles in the sky. Now she understood. The eagle had dropped it because it was made of gold so he could not eat it. Whew! She was happy she had her egg back, and she was also a bit guilty for blaming her owner. The next day, she clucked an apology to her owner. Her owner smiled. At night, she had a dream she was covered by golden eggs.

Our adaptation of The Missing Golden Eggs was written by Alex Golden and produced by Brendan O’Grady with vocal direction by Jack Mitchell.

The Super Secret Sassy Story

by Francis, age 12, and Olivia, age 9, New York

Once upon a time… “NO, NO, NO” says Francis (a 12-year-old boy) “We are not starting a story that way”, “Yes we are” says Olivia (a 9 year old girl). “No”
“Yes”
“NO”
“YES”
“KIDS, STOP ARGUING!” yells mom. “Ok mom,” they say together. “Now, let’s write that story,” says Francis. “We’ve been trying to for the last hour,” complains Olivia. “I’m going to step outside to get some fresh air,” says Francis. When he steps outside he sees a HUGE volcano that wasn’t there an hour ago, he looks at it thoughtfully and yells to Olivia, “Hey, do you think I’ve ever eaten the egg of a chicken that I’ve eaten?”
“No!” she yells back.
After Francis returns, mom comes into the living room with lunch,” You’re favorite, pizza.”
“Yay, PIZZA!” screams Francis.
"Calm down,” says Olivia.
“HOW DARE YOU TELL ME TO CALM DOWN, IT’S PIZZAAAA!!!!!!” When their mom leaves the room, Francis picks up a slice of pizza and devours it in 5 seconds. “I am Francis, destroyer of pizza, hear my voice and cower in fear pizza!” After saying that the pizza grows arms and legs and runs away as fast as it can. Their mom comes back in the room and says, “Wow you guys were hungry, now finish that story, it’s due tonight.”
“Ok mom,” they say, completely unphased by the pizza running away. Before they could continue, they heard an explosion and rushed outside to see an alien emerge from a meteor, “It came from the volcano!” Francis yells. “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” screams Olivia.
“Calm down Olivia,” Francis says mockingly and sticks his tongue out. The alien was 12ft tall, as purple as Olivia’s hair with eyes as green as Francis’ hair, it had razor sharp claws that were at least 12in long with huge fangs and the worst part was its long flowing hot pink hair and sparkly red dress with blue high heels. The first thing Francis says is, “that dress totally clashes with your hair; they're way to close in color,” in a saucy voice. Olivia who had said almost nothing up until to this point says, “Where did you get those heels?” When the alien spoke it was in a voice that no one expected, a very audacious accent while snapping her fingers disrespectfully.
“A TRUE fashion model never reveals her secrets,” she says.
“Well, at least I don’t clash colors like some people I know,” Olivia says.
“Oh we 'bout to get sassssy!” Francis says, “well it is so on, I’m so sassy that my sass out sasses any other attempts at being sassy, my real name is Fran-sassy so deal wit it” “You are far sassier than I could ever comprehend,” says the alien, “my name is Jessica.”
“Hey, Jessica, we’re trying to write a story here, so help us or go away, we still don’t have an idea for the story because nothing interesting has happened!”
“I’m an alien and there’s a volcano in your back yard, do you seriously have no idea what to write about?” says Jessica.
“Yeah, we know we have no idea what to write about don’t rub it in,” Francis snaps back.
Jessica face palms, “Fine I’ll go, but you seriously need to look at your surroundings,” and with that Jessica disappeared.
“Wow Jessica was right, so much amazing stuff has happened today,” Francis says to Olivia, “we should write about that.” They went inside and started writing: Once upon a time…