Welcome back to season 8 of the Story Pirates Podcast! In this first episode, the Story Pirates receive an intriguing invitation and meet a new adversary. Featuring two new stories: ‘The Bed’, a song about an exhausted doctor just looking for somewhere to nap, written by Bentley, a 9 year old from New York, and ‘Do Not Disturb’, a story about one girl’s unending quest to keep her family out of her bedroom, written by a 9 year old from Virginia named Mallory. We also debut our new segment ‘Story Love’ where Lee and Peter read and discuss more stories written by kids with a special guest: the incredible actor Alison Pill.

Scroll down for the original stories behind the episode!

We need your help finishing our season, and we’re offering personalized videos from Story Pirates Podcast hosts and more! Learn more HERE!

The Bed

by Bentley, age 9, New York

Once there was a doctor named Doctor Bentley. He worked in the hospital. Doctor Bentley liked to say “I help the sick patients.” The patients call him on the telephone when they are sick. He helps them feel better.

One day. Doctor Bentley was super tired. He looks for a hospital bed to take a nap. Doctor Bentley sees an X-Ray mactiine. He tried to sleep on the machine and it was comfortable: but people could see his bones. So, Doctor Bentley went to find a new bed. He found an MRI machine. He tried to sleep on the machine and it was comfortable; but he heard sounds like smoke sounds. So, Doctor Bentley went to find a new bed. He found a wheelchair. He tried to sleep in the chair and it was comfortable; but he started to roll away. So, Doctor Bentley decided to go home to his house. He went straight for his bed in the bedroom. Doctor Bentley immediately falls asleep.

The End!

Our adaptation of “The Bed” was written and produced by Jack Mitchell

Do Not Disturb

by Mallory, Age 9, Virginia

One day, there was a girl named Mallory who was making a do not disturb sign because her annoying little sister Dorothy had been coming in without knocking. And Mallory was getting mad. NOT a surprise. After all, she is an annoying sister. so, Mallory hung up the sign.

Over the course of the next few days, her family ignored the sign. Like when her dad came in without knocking to tuck her in. and when her mom came in without knocking with laundry. And when Dorothy came in WITHOUT KNOCKING and left three seconds later.

“What is your deal? The sign literally says, ‘do not disturb’ so you Do not disturb!” Mallory told her family. They ignored her. They were scrolling on their phones. Mallory was annoyed.

“BRUH” Mallory said. So, she decided to add more. She made posters that read: bodyguards wanted if interested show up at my house on august 29th at 6:00 am. I will be jumping up and down in my blue flower pj’s. Mallory hung the posters up all over town. The next day, Mallory went to her front door and started jumping up and down. Four of the wannabe bodyguards saw her and thought in their heads oh no that’s the kid I’m working for she looks like she has rabies. I guess I will go anyway. they went to her house and one of them asked “are we going to be doing the interviews in your room?” asked a bodyguard. “Yes, we are.” Mallory answered. “SOOO, are we going through the front door?” asked another. “Nope. Probably not.” Said another.

“You’re right. We’re not. Okay, Smurf guy! You! With the blue hair and skin! and pajama pants! Your first!” Mallory screamed. “Um… okay.” Said Smurf guy. “Form a line! when it’s your turn, you can choose to climb up the ladder or jump on the trampoline.” Mallory said gesturing to a trampoline and a ladder. Smurf guy chose to climb because the trampoline seemed immature. He climbed up and entered a very, very, very, very, very, pink room.

“The chairs are really small.” Smurf guy said as he sat down in the chairs Dorothy used to do her nails. “Why do you want to be a bodyguard?” Mallory asked. Ignoring his observation. “Well, I need to Mak-” he began. “Okay, you’re done.” I see you have a lot of experience. And I will get back to you in thirty minutes” Mallory interrupted. She made him jump out the window and he broke his Rist. This is how every interview went. Smurf guy was hired. Along with 5 other

Then she ordered an airport machine. Which came the day later. It was delivered by Mallory’s 5-month-old cousin Juliet. Juliet got out of her truck and crawled to the front door with the airport machine on her back and Mallory put it together just as the bodyguards showed up. Luckly, they didn’t knock poor Juliet over when they ran in., she made them go back out and WALK in.

“You almost knocked my little cousin over. Say sorry” she lectured them. “Sorry.” They said after a few lame tries. Mallory and Juliet went to Mallory’s room and started playing. A few hours later, Dorothy walked out of her room, and she saw the airport machine and the security, and she tried to move the airport machine, but it wouldn’t budge. So, she went through the machine. And looked up at Smurf guy. he didn’t notice. So she hit him in the knee. She was short very short. So she just walked right in.

“HOW DID YOU GET PASS SECURITY!?” Mallory screamed. “Oh, you mean the airport thingamabob outside?” Dorothy asked. “Man, I thought you were smarter than that.” Mallory said. “Well, get out!” Dorothy left.

The next day, Mallory’s dad walked out of his room with his work clothes on, looked at the security, shrugged, and went on with his day. Then a few hours later, Dorothy went to her mom and said “mommy, you probably don’t know this, but Mallory’s room, the one you walk by every day, has bodyguards and an airport thingamabob.” “Oh, I know. I walk. By it every day. And I’m sick of it.” So, Mallory’s mom went to Mallory’s room, pushed pass the bodyguards and opened her door.

“ Mallory fire the- really. you got all this security the airport thing the security guards to lay on your bed. Wow.” Mom said looking around. Juliet had left. The keyboard was fine the thing she was mad about was that Mallory was laying on her bed. “Sorry. I’m growing. I need space.” Mallory said innocently. She got grounded. And they lived security free for the next few months until Dorothy had this situation happen.

The end!!!!!!!!

Click to Read Original Stories from Other Episodes.

Story Love Stories

Scroll down to read the original stories or watch Peter, Lee, and special guest Alison Pill read them and react below:

The Squirrel That Disagreed With Talking Pumpkins

by Audrey, age 11, Colorado

Pumpkins…who needs em?

Humans…who needs em?

Us squirrels could totally rule this world!

Oh…ahem! Sorry..I’m getting ahead of myself, my name is Ava, Ava the squirrel! And I have a problem, it’s called talking pumpkins!!!

They are monstrosities who mock us squirrels cause we used to eat pumpkins. Before they started talking….

How did it happen,you say? Well there was a human who bought a pumpkin for her daughter to carve into a jack-o-lantern for her daughters birthday, but they left the pumpkin out too long..it started to hear words that the words the humans were saying..then it had been left out still too much longer, and the pumpkin started to talk. Then the humans were so scared they took it to the grocery store to ask, but at the store the pumpkin rolled out of their arms and taught all the other pumpkins in the entire large grocery store, how to talk. Then the pumpkins ran away from the grocery store and started annoying us squirrels, because we used to eat pumpkins. They made us miserable with..hard riddles! My best friend, James, got a practically impossible riddle!! It’s time that this stops! Once and for all! Fellow, squirrels come together!! We have to band together to stop these talking pumpkin menaces!! So, that night we told those pumpkins “enough is enough,””we’re so tired of these hard riddles, we’re so tired of us being mad at us, ,so tired of you mocking us, and so tired of you frustrating all the squirrels” “can’t we be friends? Instead of you annoying us all day and all night”. “Let us think about it” the pumpkins told us! Think about it! Ugh, how annoyed, I, am. I, am, Ava, the squirrel, and I disagree with talking pumpkins! The very next day the pumpkins said “ we thought about it and decided”….”sure”

The end!

The Banana Touch

by Owen, age 8, Tennessee

The mom: Honey! Wake up for breakfast, the bus will be here any second!

Willbert: Coming, mom! Oh, the bus is already here, I better go, bye mom!

Bob: Hi Willbert!

Willbert: Hi Bob.

Teacher: Today we are learning science.

Random student: We are in kindergarten.

Willbert: Wow, that was a looong school day. Hey (spots something on the ground), what's this? Ooooh, a ring. I'll put this in my ring collection.

Willbert: Mom, check out this ring that I found.

Mom: Oh Willbert, throw that in the trashcan!

Willbert: Why mom?

Mom: Because the banana gods have chosen you.

Willbert: Don't worry, it's not like you are gonna turn into a banana or something.

Willbert: Oh no!!! My mom DID turn into a banana!!

Narrator: Then Willbert remembered that he had a magic lamp in the closet. So he ran to the closet and he rubs the lamp so hard that a genie comes out and says:

Genie: You only have one wish or if you need one more you will have to give me a million dollars.

Narrator: So they boy went to the store. He found one million dollars for a penny and ran back to the genie and gave him a million dollars and he gave him another wish. Yessss!

Willbert: Genie, my two wishes are my mom being a human again, not a banana, and me not having a spell on me.

Genie: Of course.

Willbert: Oh mom!!!

Narrator: Then, he hugged his mom.

Willbert: Oh no...not again... (his mom turned into a banana. again).

THE END

Submit a Story

The Bed/Do Not Disturb (feat. Alison Pill)