Penny the Multi-Talented Girl/Husbordes (feat. Glo Tavarez)

Nimene and Lee discover a curious house and its even more curious proprietor (Glo Tavarez). Featuring two new stories: “Penny the Multi-Talented Girl”, about a girl who does everything well and her search for a true friend, written by Mia, age 9 from the UK, and “Husbordes”, a story about a mad scientist who manages to combine hoverboards and husbands, written by a 14 year old from Texas named Olivia. Peter and Lee also read more stories written by kids in the latest installment of Story Love.

Scroll down for the original stories behind the episode!

We need your help finishing our season, and we’re offering personalized videos from Story Pirates Podcast hosts and more! Learn more HERE!

Illustration by Camila Franklin

Penny the Multi-Talented Girl

by Mia, age 9, UK

Penny was a girl. She wasn’t just any girl she was… multi-talented girl! Penny had so many friends because she was good at everything but sometimes she wondered what would happen if she made a mistake. One thought led to another and she thought her friends only liked her because she was good at everything. Penny was sad. Just at that moment one of her(many)friends(from the sporty genre)walked in the empty classroom Penny was in and sat next to her. “You okay Penny you look blue but that might be paint since you’re good at everything including art.” “Seriously Max well I am a bit sad. I feel like everybody’s my friend just because I’m good at everything.” “Well even if that is true I like you for who you are. Isn’t that enough?” “You know what you’re right! I’ve got you and that’s all I need!”

So, Penny and Max became best friends and Penny told all of her so-called friends to like her for herself, like Max, and then maybe they can be proper friends with Penny. “Come on Penny let’s go outside, jump up and shout the end in sync!”

“The end!”

Husbordes

by Olivia, age 14, Texas
It was a dark and stormy night and Dr. Blaire McMad was in her laboratory. She was thinking to herself about her recent ideas, but there is something I must tell you, Dr. Blaire always had odd ideas. Let me tell you about a few of them. One of her ideas was a cat car. Which was a major disaster. This was a car that was powered by cats. She knew she needed more ideas, but what? Blaire McMad thought and thought all day, but then she had an idea. She loved to ride on her hoverboard, but the standing platform of the hoverboard had broken. What thing could she use instead? When she opened the door she saw her husband named Tom waiting for her at the door! She had a crazy idea. What if she used Tom to make a new platform for the hoverboard? So she asked Tom if he was OK with it and he was! So the next day she took him with her to work and tied him to the hoverboard. It worked, and now husboreds are sold all over the US!

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Story Love Stories

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How We Got the Moon

by Cody, age 8, Virginia

This is how we really got the moon, up in space, there was a wishing star who had a wish. He asked everyone, “May you grant this wish for me to be a big giant ball of rock that orbits around my favorite planet, Earth?” He searched far and wide. (WOOSH) he asked his great Uncle Starford, “Will you grant my wish?” “No,” said Starford. (WOOSH) He asked crazy ol Star Mcstucket. “Will you grant my wish?” “I can’t,” he answered. (WOOSH) he asked his sister Ursa Mabel. “Will you grant my wish?” “Why should I?” Until he got to Earth’s Sun and questioned “Can (pant) you please grant me (pant) my wish (pant) to be a rock that (pant) orbits around the planet (pant), Earth?”. The sun answered, “Yes, but under one condition: everyone must call you Moon.” Star (A.K.A. Moon) said, “Yes!” there was a huge pop and he instantly turned into the Moon. And that's the real ridiculous story of how we got the Moon. The end.

The World Where You Cannot Say Help

by Beth, age 6, Canada

Once upon a time there was a girl, and she needed help because she was stuck in a tree. And she said, “Help!”

And here parents said, “You can’t say help! Just get down.”

“But I can’t get down.”

“You should have just said that!”

“OK, but why can’t we say help?”

“Because that’s the rule.”

“Who says that we can’t say help?”

“The Mayor.”

“Oh. Then help me down.”

“But we said you can’t say help.”

“Okay, just get me down.”

“OK.”

The girl was down. And then she said, “Can you get my scooter out?”

OK, and the parents got her scooter out. And she hopped on.

“Where are you going?”

“Just to tell the Mayor.”

“OK, but he might not say yes.”

“Ok, bye!”

And the girl went to tell the Mayor.

And the Mayor said, “Why do you ask this question?

Because I said “help.”

“I thought I made it clear not to say ‘Help.’”

“But are you going to say Yes or No?”

“Let me think about it. But please do not say help again.”

“But you said ‘help.’”

“Ooops, but you said help too.”

“Ooops. Okay, let’s stop talking about this.”

“How did you get here in the first place?”

“I scootered.”

And then she scootered home.

Her parents said, “Hi!”

And she said, “Hi!”

And her parents let her in for a cup of tea and maybe some brownies. And the parents asked, “Sweetie, what did he say.”

“He’s still deciding.”

“Um, OK. But it’s time to go to bed. Maybe the next day we’ll figure out if he said it or not.”

And then they all went to bed.

… except for the dog. And the dog hopped on the scooter and rode off.

And the next day, she went to tell the Mayor, but she had no scooter! But she still had a helmet, and knee pads, and elbow pads, and fingerless gloves.

So she went to look for her scooter. And she found the dog underneath the tree, next to her scooter. And she was like, “What happened?”

And she went and got a translator and put it on the dog, and the dog said, “I was scootering!”

And she said, “you’re not meant to scooter on my scooter, okay?” And she took her scooter back.

And then she took her scooter, and the dog had made it halfway to the Mayor’s house, she only had to scooter the rest of the way.

She went to the Mayor’s house and the Mayor said: “Yes!”

“Oh yay!”

“But now we have to call it: the No Saying Yes Town”

“But you just said ‘Yes’.”

“Oh, uh oh… go and tell your parents please.”

So, she scootered to the dog, and got the dog and scootered home and she got to her parents and said…

“This is the end.”

The End.

The Rapping Lawyer

by Beckett, age 10, Canada
There once was a lawyer who only rapped. He was so good if he lost he would pay his clients 1,000,000 gooses. And every time he went to court it became a rap battle. Ps he lives in Arizona.

The Birthday Fiasco/The Backwards Hat

Lord Eric Half-Elven, champion of the weak and all around cool dude, rallies his compatriots to slay the Great Serpent. Featuring two new stories: “The Birthday Fiasco”, about a string of birthday gift robberies that can only be foiled by the Animal Buddies, written by Carmella, age 7 in Canada, and “The Backwards Hat”, a story about what happens when a magic top hat turns everything topsy-turvy, written by Milo, age 10 in California. Peter and Lee also read more stories written by kids in the latest installment of Story Love.

Scroll down for the original stories behind the episode!

We need your help finishing our season, and we’re offering personalized videos from Story Pirates Podcast hosts and more! Learn more HERE!

Illustration by Camila Franklin

The Birthday Fiasco

by Carmella, age 7, Canada

There was a cat named Shadow. She was a black cat. It was her friend’s birthday. When she was about to wrap the present, something stole it!

So she called the Animal Buddies. There was a fox. There was a rabbit. There was a pig. And there was a dog. She explained what happened.

Then when they got there, they found a trail of wrapping paper. They followed it through the city. Until they reached a pile of birthday presents in a corner of the city.

Then unexpectedly Mr Bad Cow said “You’ll never stop me from stealing these presents mwah ha ha ha haaaaa!"

“We’ll see about that” said Super Fox.

“Oh yeah?” Said Mr Bad Cow

Then they chased him into a dumpster and Super Dog said “Who’s gonna get each other now?”

And then CLICK

The Super Rabbit and the Super Pig put handcuffs on Mr Bad Cow and together Super Rabbit, Super Pig, Super Fox, and Super Dog said “GOT YOU!”

“Oh fine I’ll return all the presents” said Mr Bad Cow

So then the black cat got the present to her friend’s party.

The End

The Backwards Hat

by Milo, age 10, California
A man finds a top hat that makes things backwards. For example he put it on, and cats are chasing dogs, and instead of people planting gardens, gardens are planting people. As the story goes on, things get wackier and wackier, and he starts to like the hat, and keeps wearing it. Instead of walking his dog, the dog walks him. Instead of riding his horse at the ranch, the horse rides him. He doesn't like that. But then at night, the dogs and horse make him dinner, which tastes really good, and then his kids put him to bed. He really likes that! Nowadays he sometimes wears the hat but not all the time.

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Story Love Stories

Scroll down to read the original stories or watch Peter, Lee, and special guest Nimene read them and react below:

Theater Class with Sleepy Sally

by Finola, age 10, Idaho

This stores about 3 characters, The theater teacher, Sleepy Sally, and the narrator, "who is the N-A-R-O-R-A-T-O-R" uh Me. Ahem, One sunny morning on Flirby Drive Sleepy Sally was rushing about , getting her things for theater A.K.A. falling asleep every 2 seconds! When she finally got there they were already through half of class! luckily she was on time for auditions. she auditioned for a cat named snuffles. 2 WEEKS LATER.... Yay I YAWN got the YAWN part!Thanks theater teacher. It's all right, and by the way my name is May-yes yes I know, no not you narrator!Oh okay, so the day of the play It was Sleepy Sallys time for a solo and she was so tired that she tripped up the stairs. as the lights shined on her the warmth from them made her even more tired that she fell asleep ON THE STAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The director had to wake her up and shoo her of the stage,May was soooo embarrassed. and................. THE END!!!!!!!!!!

Nuclear Nosepicker

by Cirrus, age 8, Michigan

Once there was a boy who picked his nose. He took his boogers and made a super, big ball. Then he put some nuclear waste on the giant booger ball. A few moments later, it turned into Booger Man!

The nose picking boy went into his room and saw Booger Man. He saw a scary, bright green, slimy, two-armed, dumb blob.

Suddenly, nose picking boy ran to his parents. He told his parents to look in his room. The parents were busy looking at the Halloween costumes. They all ran to the boy’s room to see the Booger Man. His mom and dad did not see the Booger Man but the nose picking boy did. The parents are confused! The nose picking boy is worried.

The Booger Man has feelings too! He feels lonely.

In the other room, nose picking boy’s sister was making a giant booger ball. She found a nuclear waste can, just before she put it on her booger ball nose picking boy burst in. He loudly said, “NOOOOOO!”

But he was too late! She dropped the nuclear waste can. They walked out of the room to talk about the booger ball mixed with nuclear waste. Nose picking girl walked into her room and screamed! “There is a big Booger Woman!”

She ran to her parents and told them about the Booger Woman, all of it. They all went to her room, but the parents did not see the Booger Woman. The parents were disappointed. The nose picking girl was worried.

The Booger Woman also has feelings. She feels lonely.

The Booger Man went to the nose picking girl’s room. The Booger Woman saw Booger Man and fell in love.

Then! Then! The end!

The Goo on My Window

by Leah, age 11, Vermont

Aaak! Eeek! There’s a strange, horrendous, oogly bogly, ishy, squatchy, gooey, globby, moist towelette flavored streak of shining white (with a little brown and green in it) goo on my window! It’s making my town of Burgly Bergonson very upset! Whatever shall I doooooooooooo?!

*Ding dong, ding dong* “yes hello?” I say as I pick up my hard pickle phone. “I hear you are having trouble with dodo bird snot.” says a coconut drink hat wearing squishy pig face man named Jeffery Baloney (Don’t ask me how I know that). “Uh, no Sir Jeffery Baloney, it’s goo.” “THAT’S WHAT I SAID!” Suddenly, he hangs up with a loud *bagalisous*! Hmmmmmmm. That was a very well good conversation. Don’t correct my grammar Daddy! Now, back to staring at the goo with a donkey on my butt.

3 DAYS LATER…

“All clean! It only took five screws, a capybara key chain, the presidents address, a green flavored popsicle, a 243mm crochet hook, a paper mache flower, and a pineapple shoelace from New Jersey but your window is goooooooo free!” Says a random rat named Bitzee Boing Boing.

HOOOORRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAA!!

“The end” said the goo. Wait, THE GOO?!

Mosquito Chef/Suing Dinos

Rachel and Siegfried unknowingly compete against each other with their chair-building startups. Featuring two new stories: “The Mosquito Chef”, about a mosquito who can’t stop eating other bugs, written by Shalva, age 9, Adiv, age 7, and Elena, age 9, from Illinois, and “Suing Dinos”, a story about a dinosaur dentist who is accused of malpractice, written by siblings Olaniyi, age 10, and Olaiya, age 4, from Missouri. Peter and Lee also read more stories written by kids in the latest installment of Story Love.

Scroll down for the original stories behind the episode!

We need your help finishing our season, and we’re offering personalized videos from Story Pirates Podcast hosts and more! Learn more HERE!

Illustration by Camila Franklin

Mosquito Chef

by Shalva (age 9), Adiv (age 7), and Elena (age 9), Illinois

Once upon a time there was a mosquito who wanted to be a chef, so he did. "Chef, yay." And then he got a cooking talk show on the Bug Network in Bug Land. But he kept eating every bug.

Mosquito Chef invited bugs onto his cooking show, "Now I have my own show and I show people how to cook. My first person is Bug, yep, his name is Bug."

"Hi Everyone, my name is Bug and I finally get to go on the most famous bug talk show of all time."

But Mosquito Chef was secretly eating bugs. "I am going to eat you."

Bug, "Aaahhh!"

This is how it happened. The bug that is getting interviewed has his interview done. But after the mosquito chef (by the way his name is chef mor skedow) he'd take them back stage and then eat them.

And then all the people would question where did that bug go.

The bug police found out it was chef Mosquito who was eating bugs the whole time. "Hey I remember you, You are a mosquito who keeps eating everybody. You are under arrest. You are going to jail."

But in jail he met a talking dog! And the dog had a plan to get out! So they went into the sewers and then they partied and danced.

The End!

Suing Dinos:

Sueing Dinos 1#: The Worse dinotist

by Olaniyi, age 10, New York
A kid named Olaiya (my brother) goes to the dentists that is ran by a t-rex and the whole dentistry
is made out of unhealthy foods and the t-rex dentist just makes Olaiya's teeth worse than before so Olaiya sued the t-rex dentist.

Suing Dinos: Dino Fun

by Olaiya, Age 4, New York

Dinosaurs are getting sued alot now dinosaurs want to sue humans and the first one they will sue is olaniyi.

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Story Love Stories

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A Planet in the Black Hole

by Tessa, age 7, Wisconsin

Allison looked online for advice, "Does the black hole have any planets?" Reply: No.

Then when she asked her mom, "Mom, does the black hole have any planets?" Her mom said no.

One day she went to outer space. She went to the black hole. And she went into the black hole and looked and looked, and when she saw a planet, she hugged it! Then she saw a banana on the planet. Then she saw a palace with a king banana, a queen banana, and of course, a princess banana, and a prince banana. Then Allison realized that this is a Banana Planet! The queen banana welcomed her to our Banana Planet in the Black Hole. The queen asked Allison, "Do you want to stay?" "Um..................yes! I want to stay," said "Princess" Allison. Ok but then right as "Princess" Allison went to her room, something happened to the banana villagers! The banana villagers got hypnotized by the oranges. And the bananas are saying, "I am an orange, we love you queen orange." Then Allison realized that the king was not hypnotized and she asked the king, "Could you pour this cup of medicine on the queen's head?" So the king did and the queen got cured. And the villagers thanked Allison so much and she would visit every day. The end.

The Flooby Store

by Yehuda, age 14, Florida

Opposite World

by Halina, age 7, China

McShaggybutt says, “I wear a mixer. And I cook with a dress. Oww, the mixer mixed me! Oww, the dress burned me! I’m so angry at my mixer that I planted it in the ground. And now I’m going to water it so much so it doesn’t grow. I’m going to bed, and I’m sleeping in a dehumidifier. And the bed is getting all the water out of the air for me. I waked up! I’m going out for my morning walk. Oh no, a giant mixer grew! Well, I guess I’ll just wear it. OK, here I go to wear the giant mixer. Oh no, I turned giant!”

The End.

The Ancient History of Mr. Lollypants and His 27 Tears

Today’s episode features a brand new story written by over a hundred different members of the Story Pirates Creator Club!

The next Create a Story session is coming up on Friday, January 23rd @ 7pm ET

Grownups, your kids can join Peter and Lee to make a new story in a virtual Create a Story session and hear it come to life on the podcast! Create a Story Zooms happen four times per year for our Premium Creator Club members. To join us, sign up for a Premium membership at storypirates.com/creatorclub

All Creator Club memberships also include Podcast Plus, where you can hear even more bonus episodes like this one and listen to the Story Pirates Podcast ad-free!

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We need your help finishing our season, and we’re offering personalized videos from Story Pirates Podcast hosts and more! Learn more HERE!

Illustration by Camila Franklin

The Ancient History of Mr. Lollypants and His 27 Tears

by Creator Club!

Mr. Lollypants is a lollipop, but he’s sad because he’s not sweet; he’s sour. He lives in a gingerbread house. He walks out of his house, and he sees something. A sign!. A stop sign, it’s red and white, just like a CIRCUS TENT. He calls his friend Joe the Coconut. He’s basically a coconut with stick arms. He’s tiny. He struggles to get the phone. He pulls around a stool with lots of steps on it.

Mr. Lollypants: “I’ve got another one of my ideas!”

JOE THE COCONUT: “What is it this time?” He explains.

JOE THE COCONUT: “Stop right there, I know what we have to do first! We should make it in the basement of a restaurant.”

It’s an Ice cream store that only sells mint chocolate chip. Owner is Banana Joe. But they need to raise money. They have a fundraiser selling bugs to butterflies for the first show. At the first show that they ever do something goes totally wrong. They don’t have any of the requirements,. They just start playing music, and everyone says BOOO!!!! Becuase there are no acts. It goes so poorly that he quits. “My dream is dead! Go home, everybody,” to everyone he hired (which is no one).

“This was harder than I thought”

Joe says, “STOP - Listen to me. I have a new partner. My manager, Frogsworth the chicken will help us, make a speech (also banana joe)”

“Lollypants, you're the biggest lollypop I know, and you are so great, and when was the last time you were at a circus? Two minutes ago, so you have to make a circus!”

27 years over 27 tears. Finally they did it. They opened their big top and it was opening night of the final version of the show (that we heard about at the beginning). He calls the whole cast and crew together “I have a gift for all of you to show you how much I appreciate you all.” Here’s a Wet Dog From France for each of you! “They walk around and are all like,” barkety barkety guys. ' They are pocket sized.

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Story Love Stories

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The Case of the Third Person INfection

by Rosa, age 10, Tennessee

Its another day for me Rick Lawson when someone walks into my...Wait, do I have to talk about myself in third person? What is the point? I, Rick Lawson... No I did it again! Why oh why must this happen to me Rick Lawson... Noooooo I did it again!! Have I always done this? Lets look at my baby pictures. And after some close examination by me I realized... Hey I did it! I didn't say it in third person!! I am gonna go convince other detectives to stop this bad habit! That's the daily case for me, Rick Lawson! Darn it I said it again! Well time to stop this curse! Hey Vicky Burns! Hi Rick Lawson! Its another day for me, Vicky Burns when... Wait wait wait Vicky stop doing that! Doing what? Talking in third person! Okay I Vicky Burns will try! Bye! Alright time to go help Matt Hayes. Hey Matt Hayes! Hey Rick Lawson! Its another.. No No No don't say its another day for me Matt Hayes ok? Why? That's how I Matt Hayes talks. I don't care how you talk its infecting your brain! But I have to! Hey you did it! Bye! Hopefully they will spread the word. Hey I haven't said I Rick Lawson or me Rick Lawson all day! Pretty much. I beat the infection!!!

Carson the Capybara

by El, age 9, California

Once upon a time, there was a horse that had blinkers on its butt. Because he was the only horse around with blinkers on his butt, he felt a little sad because he was so different. Other horses and animals would ask him, “Why do you have blinkers on your butt?” but he just didn’t know, and he felt a little embarrassed. One day, he was galloping down the highway, and he noticed someone's car had broken down. He asked how he could help. The person said, “I don’t know! Can you fix my car?!”. The horse did not know how to fix a car and sadly said, “I’m sorry, but I don’t know if I can help you”. Just then, he had an idea! “Oh! I cannot fix your car, but I can give you a ride!”. The person thought for a second, “but wait, can you go on a road?” The horse made a big grin, and he said, “Check it out, I have blinkers on my butt!” They both started laughing, and the person hopped on. The horse with the blinker butt started galloping down the highway and the man made it to work on time. From then on, the horse loved his left and his blinker butt—the end.

The Guy Who Sells Skyscrapers

by Colin, age 8, Texas

Just another good day of selling skyscrapers for me, the skyscraper guy. Today, somebody walks into the store and they ask for a skyscraper. I say “sure, how tall?” The person thinks for a second and says “1,000 feet.” Then I ask - “Where you like it?” He replies “On top of town hall.”

“Ok,” I say. I get into my crane, I put it on top of town hall but the whole building starts to wobble…. Then…. IT CRASHES and all the skyscrapers start rolling everywhere!!! So I call my alien friends….

I went to space once, I met some aliens and we had a little talk. We traded stuff for a bit and became friends. While I was there I accidentally got hit by an alien ray and it gave me the superpower of telekinesis! Then they gave me a little com to talk to them whenever I needed to. (This translated so I can understand the alien’s language. I didn’t know how handy this would be later…

So here I am, skyscapers rolling everywhere, people running and screaming and suddenly I remember - “I can call the aliens!” My com is a little bit rusty, but it still works! The aliens reply “That’s no problem! We need skyscrapers anyway!” All of the troops of aliens show up and take the skyscrapers back to their planet.

They find out that some power lines broke… Then I say “I have an idea…” Then I snap the power line cord but I found one that’s super tight - but it secretly goes up to the aliens and we are able to still talk. Then I put the one skyscraper I wanted to keep back at my house. I climbed up to the top…. Did a backflip off and shouted - “THE END!

The Horrible Pizza/Demons

It’s National Referee Day (again) and the Story Pirates are determined to show Smitty a good time. Featuring two new stories: “The Horrible Pizza,” a flashback-laden chronicle of the unlikely origins of a mythic pizza shop, written by Kiaan and Haley, two siblings from California, and “Demons,” a cautionary tale about what happens to many (most?) families when they go on vacation together, written by an 8 year old from Missouri named Ira. Peter and Lee also read more stories written by kids in the latest installment of Story Love.

Scroll down for the original stories behind the episode!

We need your help finishing our season, and we’re offering personalized videos from Story Pirates Podcast hosts and more! Learn more HERE!

Illustration by Camila Franklin

The Horrible Pizza

by Kiaan, age 9, and Haley, age 7, California

Once upon a time, there were 2 siblings named Kiaan & Haley at an Italian restaurant. They ordered a lot of food including a large pizza. And then Haley & Kiaan took a big bite of the pizza. “BLEGH!!!” yelled the two. They called the manager, and he stomped on top of the table and asked, “Is this about the pizza?” They both said “Yes. Why is it so BAD?” (flashback sequence of owner begins) Two people walked down the sidewalk. The owner yells “You two! You're perfect for the job! Into my kitchen! Now!” (Owner flashback sequence ends
The owner ran into the kitchen and slapped the chefs in the face. “You two didn’t go to culinary school! We’re getting complaints on the pizza!”, the owner said. “Actually, we didn’t go. You just picked us off the sidewalk.” said the employees.
“Mama Mia! Now I must hire a better chef!” said the owner. And that’s what he did and fired the other employees. He hired a master chef named Bob. Bob had great ratings from other people, but he was too expensive for other people. 
“Hello my guy! How’s it going’?” said Bob. “Ummmm…Good!” said the owner worried that he had picked out the wrong chef again. “You want to make a good pizza? Huh. Well, here’s a probably 2 minute & 30 second montage of how to make a perfect pizza.” said Bob.
(Song starts with the tune of The Wheels on The Bus) 
“This is how you make a pizza that’s de-li-cious, de-li-cious de-li-cious! This is how you make a pizza that’s de-li-cious, to finish your Italian restraunt!
Put the dough on a baking sheet, baking sheet, baking sheet! Put the dough on a baking sheet, to make your pizza right!” 
“Whatever” said the chef, not interested. 
“Now put your sauce on the pi-i-zza, spread it out, nice and right! Now put your sauce on the pi-i-zza to make it nice and right! 
Now put your cheese on the pi-i-zza, pi-i-zza, pi-i-zza! Now put your cheese on the pi-i-zza, to make it nice and right! 
Now put your toppings on your pi-i-zza, pi-i-zza, pi-i-zza! Now put your toppings on your pi-i-zza only if the costumer asked! 
Now put the pizza in the pizza box, pizza box, pizza box! Now put the pizza in the pizza box to finish your pizza off!” (song ends) 
“Wow. Did you choreograph that all yourself?” asked the owner “Nope! Improvised all of it!” Answered Bob “Okay. You're hired for sure.” Said the owner “Thank you.” Said Bob
From that day on, the pizzeria was even more popular from the start! Even Kiaan & Haley loved it. “That was truly a good change owner.” Said Bob “Yes. I know.” Said the owner. (Narrator speaks) “A few hundred years later the pizza shop was rusty & dirty. It had spider webs on it. The alleyway next to the shop was stinky. But we all know the real story to that particular glorious pizzeria.” The Owner & Bob came out both with very very very very very very very very very very long beards. “You know what?” said Old Bob “What?” (Uplifting music plays) said Old Owner “We were very good at our jobs.” Answered Old Bob “Wow.” Old Owner said with a tear dropping down his face. “And also we got shut down by the pizza critics for getting white beard hairs in our pizza.” Said Bob (Uplifting music stops) “Nooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Screamed Old Owner.
The End | Fin
PS: Please preform this at October show in San Francisco because we are going to be there.

Demons

by Ira, Age 8, Missouri

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Story Love Stories

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I Want to Marry a Dog!

by Sophie, age 10, Massachusetts

While I don't truly want to marry a dog, the poem is inspired by my deep affection for my dog, Jasmine, a 16-month-old Pomeranian who is nothing short of a cuddle. I hope you’ll enjoy it and consider including it.

The Blinker Butt Horse

by Cedar, age 6, Minnesota

Once upon a time, there was a horse that had blinkers on its butt. Because he was the only horse around with blinkers on his butt, he felt a little sad because he was so different. Other horses and animals would ask him, “Why do you have blinkers on your butt?” but he just didn’t know, and he felt a little embarrassed. One day, he was galloping down the highway, and he noticed someone's car had broken down. He asked how he could help. The person said, “I don’t know! Can you fix my car?!”. The horse did not know how to fix a car and sadly said, “I’m sorry, but I don’t know if I can help you”. Just then, he had an idea! “Oh! I cannot fix your car, but I can give you a ride!”. The person thought for a second, “but wait, can you go on a road?” The horse made a big grin, and he said, “Check it out, I have blinkers on my butt!” They both started laughing, and the person hopped on. The horse with the blinker butt started galloping down the highway and the man made it to work on time. From then on, the horse loved his left and his blinker butt—the end.

Ice Cream Gas

by Marina, age 5, Texas

(Yawn) Good morning, Lily!

Good morning, Tom!

It's time to drive our car to go the famous show! I hope we'll be on time for it. And I hope that our car doesn't run out of gas.

Here we go! Vroommm!

It didn't actually go! It ran out of gas again!

Oh no, mine is ran out of gas too!

I think we have an idea. Mine has enough gas to go to the gas station.

Mine too!

Let's go! Vroom!

We're here at the gas station. Let's fill up our car.

Glug glug glug glug glug.

Our cars are full of gas. Let's get back in! Okay, we turned our car on. And our car is ready to go! Wait, it didn't actually really go after we got a gas refill.

Oh no! Our cars are starting to freeze up! What's happening to our cars?!

Let's check the gas. I guess this door didn't freeze. I know, because it's the hottest door in the car.

Me, too. This one is, too.

Hoo! We got out of the car. Let's check our gas. Let's see...

Oh no! What happened to this gas?!

It... has turned... to ICE CREAMMMMMM!

That's why our cars were frozen! Our cars were full of ice cream, because the gas was ice cream! Naaaa!

Oh! I noticed that the sign on all of the gas stations said... ICE CREAM GAS! Noooooo!

Hooof! I guess we have to go to Southvania to get the gas refilled.

Okay, here we go. On an airplane. Let's go! Vwoooshhh!

We're here at Southvania.

Oh no, look at this gas station sign. It says HOT DOG GAS!

Noooo!

I guess it's the end of the story. Okay!

The End!

Bob’s Impossible Pants/The Weird Inventor (feat. Matt Oberg)

The crew discovers a world traveler (Matt Oberg) who believes it’s still the year 1999. Featuring two new stories: “Bob’s Impossible Pants”, a song about a cursed pair of pants with significant upside, written by Iris, a 9 year old from Massachusetts, and “The Weird Inventor”, a story about a creative builder who has trouble getting others to see his vision, written by an 11 year old from Texas named William. Peter and Lee also read more stories written by kids in the latest installment of Story Love.

Scroll down for the original stories behind the episode!

We need your help finishing our season, and we’re offering personalized videos from Story Pirates Podcast hosts and more! Learn more HERE!

Illustration by Camila Franklin

Bob’s Impossible Pants

by Iris, age 9, Massachusetts

The Weird Inventor

by William, Age 11, Texas

Narrator: Professor Poofenfloofer was always a strange person. You can tell by the stuff

he invented. Don’t believe me? Just watch.

Professor: Welcome to this showcase of the all-new Burger launcher! It launches

burgers!

Person 1: It looks like a trebuchet, a French siege weapon consisting of a wooden beam

on a fulcrum with a weight on one end and a sling on the other, which would be used to

throw stones long distances.

[Crickets Chirping]

Professor: [confused] Um…Thank you for sharing.

George: can it launch patty melts?

Professor: [more confused] ….Yes?

Person 2: Does it launch sandwiches?

Professor: [angry] It is simple! I pull this lever and-

[Machine launches]

Professor: Oops

[in space]

Astronaut: Houston, we have a problem. A burger hit the ship, and there wasn’t even

ketchup!

[Next page!]

[Back on earth]

Professor: my next invention is the world’s fastest car.

Person 1: that is a compact car with rockets duct taped to the top.

Professor: [quietly] Shhh! Some people don’t know that.

George: Can it launch patty melts?

Professor: not everything launches patty melts, George!

Person 2: how does it work?

Professor: You press this button and-Oh

[car shoots forward]

Salesperson: Ramps! Get your ramps!

[car flies upward off ramp]

[space]

Astronaut: [angry] Now there’s a car!

[earth]

Professor: my next invention is an invisible wall!

[runs into invisible wall]

Professor: I forgot it was there.

Professor: my next invention is a device that blows up the nearest loaf of bread.

Person 1: why is it shaped like a loaf of bread?

Professor: Wait-

[explosion]

Person 2: these inventions are useless!

[Professor runs away from the unhappy crowd]

George: I think your inventions are genius.

Professor: you do George?

George: yes! In fact, I will buy lunch.

Professor: Yeah, I’d like a patty melt!

The end

Click to Read Original Stories from Other Episodes.

Story Love Stories

Scroll down to read the original stories or watch Peter, Lee, and special guest Nimene read them and react below:

The Problem

by Seren, age 5, Canada

Once upon a time there was a girl. One day the girl got really mad, and then her problem showed up. The problem crashed through the house and out into the town that the girl lived in. It broke down every house that was in its way. Then everybody had to get on one tiny boat and sail to an island. The boat could only fit two people at a time and everyone needed to get to the island because their houses were smashed. They tried to get four people into the boat but the boat just sank. By the way, the four people were named Tom, Herbert, Jerry, and Peter. The problem just built a castle in the middle of the town and lived there all by itself. The End. PS. The girl who made the problem was a princess.

Why Do I Have a Rainbow Fist?

by Micah, age 6, Virginia

Well, I covered all the tacos with food coloring. Then I ate the tacos. At first my whole body was rainbow but then the doctor tried to help me. But the medicine didn’t push it out but all to my fist.

Or it could have happened like this…

I could have been doing a science experiment where I was trying to bring a rainbow unicorn to life but it was a potion that turned me into a unicorn but I could have made it accidentally a rainbow potion and when I drank it it turned my whole body rainbow. Which led to the Doctor who was only able to push the rainbow to my fist.

The Rainbow fist makes me stronger.

How Bunnies Stay Cute

by Miranda, age 7, Illinois

Everyone thinks that bunnies are just cute and fluffy. But have you wondered how bunnies stay cute and fluffy? It is very simple just 1200 steps for their noses and more for their bodies. All the products cost one million dollars. They ask their butlers (who are hamsters) to give them the products, but the butlers need their butlers who need their butlers who need their butlers who need their butlers who need their butlers who need their butlers who need their butlers to buy beauty products. So, the eighth butlers rob a bank. Since the eighth butlers are fleas, they make the cats and dogs who work at the bank itch. Then they rob the bank and give the stolen money to their butlers who give the money to their butlers who give the money to their butlers who give the money to their butlers who give the money to their butlers who give the money to their butlers who give the money to their butlers who give the money to their butlers who give the money to their butlers. Then the bunnies take the money and buy beauty products.

Clem and Gemp’s Camp/Super Banana Man

Rachel and Nimene face their fears while playing haunted mini-golf. Featuring two new stories: “Clem and Gemp’s Camp”, a story about two outdoor enthusiasts who anger the camping gods, written by Parker, a 7 year old from Arizona, and “Super Banana Man”, about a negligent scientist who leaves his grow ray accessible to a plucky banana, written by a 13 year old from Illinois named Lia. Peter and Lee also read more stories written by kids in the latest installment of Story Love.

Scroll down for the original stories behind the episode!

We need your help finishing our season, and we’re offering personalized videos from Story Pirates Podcast hosts and more! Learn more HERE!

Illustration by Camila Franklin

Clem & Gemp’s Camp

by Parker, age 7, Arizona

Chapter 1 - The Camp Begins

One day Clem and Gemp went camping. They have a camper. "Do you have any snacks," asked Clem? "Yes I do have snacks," said Gemp.

"I'm hot!" Said Gemp. "I have a fan," said Clem.

"AHHHHH!" said Gemp. "What?" said Clem. "A lion!" said Gemp. "Lets be safe in the camper," said Clem. "We are safe," said Gemp.

"A time machine!" said Clem. "There is no such thing as a time machine," said Gemp.

Chapter 2 - The Time Machine

"Lets go to the dinosaur times!" said Clem. "Ok," said Gemp.

"WHAT!" said Gemp.

"AHHHHHHHHH!" said Clem and Gemp.

"Lets go back", said Gemp. "The dinosaurs are no friendly", said Gemp.

"NOOO!", said Gemp.

"Weeeee!!!!!!!", said Clem flying on a pterodactyl.

"??", said Gemp. "Lets go back to the time machine", said Gemp.

Gemp smiled. Clem smiled.

They are back at the camper. "This was too much", said Gemp.

Chapter 3 - Math? Ok then let's do math

"A temple!" said Clem.

"Not this again!" said Gemp.

"Back to the time machine", said Clem.

"Ok then", said Gemp.

"The temple has math", said ?????

"1+3=?", said Gemp.

"4", said Clem.

"Look a box", said Clem. "What's inside", said Gemp. "Gold", said Clem.

The End

To be continued...

Super Banana Man

by Lia, Age 13, Illinois

Sam: It's a beautiful morning! The sun is shining! The birds are singing! I have a feeling something magical is gonna happen today!

Emma: Good morning honey! What would you like for breakfast?

Sam: Hmmm your banana toast sounds extra good this morning…

Rocky: Ruff ruff!

Sam: You're right Rocky! It is delicious!

Emma: I'll get that ready for you!

Banana #1: oooh hear that? Banana toast! I'll bet she picks me today!

Banana #2: You're crazy! You're turning brown! I'm at peak ripeness and will be perfect on toast!

Both bananas laugh

Banana #1: What about you, Calvin? Do you think she will pick you?

Calvin: Oh I hope not! There is nothing I want less!

Banana #2: (puzzled) Then what do you want?

Calvin: I-I want to be a superhero!

Banana #1 & #2 laugh

Banana #1: Bananas can't be superheroes silly!

Banana #2: yea! Were meant to be eaten with toast!

Banana #1 and 2 leave laughing

Calvin: All I want is to be a superhero! Is that too much to ask?

Banana #1: (shouts) Look here she comes!

Emma: Hmmm I think i'll take this one

Banana #1: So long!

Emma: Here's your banana toast dear!

Sam: Thank you honey, I'll eat it on the way, I've got to get this very important grow ray to the lab!

Emma: And I've got to go to my job at the market!

Door slams

Rocky jumps up on counter, bananas scream

Calvin: Ahh!

Rocky: Listen pal, I heard that you want to be a superhero and I think I can help

Rocky drops grow ray on counter

Calvin: The grow ray! I guess Sam forgot it!

Rocky: If I shoot you with this, you will grow big enough to be a superhero!

Calvin: Wow! Thanks Rocky! Do it quickly! Before Sam comes back!

Rocky: Okay!

Rocky shoots Clavin

Calvin: Woooahhh

Calvin: Im-im big! I'm as big as a person! Thanks Rocky!

Rocky: My pleasure! Now go be a sup’!

Calvin: Im outside and-Wooooahhhh

Calvin: I grew! I grew bigger than all the buildings!

Calvin: Ah well, off to town!

At Town…

Calvin: I'm in town and ready to fight some crime!

Crunch

Calvin: Uh oh, My foot made a pot hole in the road! I'll just take another step and-

Crunch

Calvin: Another pothole? That can't be good…but i've just gotta keep going and stop some crime

Crunch crunch crunch

Calvin: Woah!

CRUNCH

Calvin: Woops! I accidentally tripped and knocked over 5 buildings when I fell!

People: Ahhhhhh! It's a monster! Call the police! Help! Etc.

Calvin: Really, I mean no harm! I just want to help!

Screams continue

Cavin: Maybe this wasn't such a good idea…

In the car…

Sam: Oh darn, I forgot the grow ray on the counter at home, better go get it! It's not like anything could have happened in a few minutes…

Car stops, go up steps, open door

Rocky barks

Sam: Rocky, Rocky, I wasn't gone that long! I'm just here to get my grow ray…What's this? Why are you dragging me over to the couch?

Rocky turns on tv

Reporter: A wild huge untamed Banana is roaming the streets of the town, terrorizing all those who live there! Take cover! The banana monster may come to your town next!

Tv clicks off

Sam: Is-is that OUR banana Rocky?

Rocky: (nod nod nod)

Sam: You hit him with the grow ray didn't you? Well we have to get to town and de-shrink him!

In town….

Calvin: Please! I'm not going to hurt you! Stop screaming please! I just wanted to be a superhero!

Car screeches up

Sam: We are here with the grow ray! Now turn this knob and-(click) now it will de-shrink the banana!

Calvin: Wait! Just wait one sec-

Sam: There! Now he is just a little normal banana again!

Rocky: Ruff Ruff

Phone rings

Sam: Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to talk to my wife

Sam: Hi honey, how are you?

Emma: Oh, lovely! The market is great today! But I am kinda hungry..

Sam: How about when we get home I make you banana toast?

Emma: Oh that sounds delicious!

Sam: And I've got the perfect banana to put on it and everything!

Calvin: Nooooooooo

END

Click to Read Original Stories from Other Episodes.

Story Love Stories

Scroll down to read the original stories or watch Peter, Lee, and special guest Nimene read them and react below:

The Banana That Walked to the Sidewalk

by Josh, age 8, Texas

one time a banana walked to the sidewalk it saw a car so it ran then it saw a monster it looked liked an elephant the monster ran towards the banana at the park the banana hid behind the hotdog stand it got a hotdog and threw it at the monster then they got to the desert the banana went to a temple but it made banana and monster shrink banana hid in a mouse hole but monster found it then they got back to the sidewalk banana unpeeled his peel and was the in side of a banana but with 8 arms monster gasped and took of his suit and was a banana and then they were friends and ate burgers the end.

The Day That Dorothy Fell Off a Cliff

by Lilly, age 10, Massachusetts

“Well, that didn’t go well. I can’t believe we let oh chum fall off a cliff. ‘Oh chum’ is British for friend, and friend stands for Dorothy”, said Dorothy’s friends. “It’s not your fault. It was the bird’s fault. It scared me. So, blame the bird.”, said Dorothy. “OK!”, said Dorothy’s friends.

Earlier that day…

”Dorothy, are you ready to go?”, said Katie.

“Yes, Katie, I am just making sure I have everything for our hike to Totally Not Dangerous Cliff!” said Dorothy.

“Are you sure you want to go? It sounds boring.”, said Bob.

“Yes, I’m sure, Bob.”, said Dorothy. “Amaya, did you get the picnic stuff ready yet?”

“Yes, Dorothy!”, said Amaya.

“Alright, let’s go!”, said all of the friends.

…

Three hours later…

“We finally made it to the top!”, said Dorothy.

“Now, let’s start this picnic I’m hungry!”, said Bob.

As the friends started eating, no one saw the bird fly down from the tree. No one saw the bird steal Bob’s phone. No one saw the bird searching for “It’s Peanut Butter Jelly Time”. No one saw the bird press ‘play’.

When the music started, it startled Dorothy so much that she fell off of the cliff…with the food too!

Amaya and Katie were so shocked and upset about Dorothy. Bob was too but mainly about the lost food.

Luckily, Dorothy fell on a tent which cushioned her fall.

Back on the cliff, Bob danced with the bird.

THE END

The Toxic Plate

by Martin, age 8, New York

Once there was a restaurant that was in the middle of the world. The restaurant had teleporters connecting to every home on the planet. The restaurant had great food and was super fancy. It had a grand piano and a chandelier. But no one knew that the food was made from toxic waste. For example the pasta and meatballs were made out of acid and the slim from the river was a key ingredient in the desserts. The head chef, Carmichael, was the only person who knew about this secret. He had just been fired from his last restaurant and he decided that tricking people into eating toxic waste was his plan for revenge. One day Chef Carmichael was out and the Sous Chef named Stephen came in for morning prep and noticed that everything was marked toxic. At first he was confused and he thought to himself, “Am I seeing things right?” and so he decided to make himself a burger. When he ate it at first he felt fine but then his skin started to change colors and glow like a flashlight but then it faded. Horrified, he took some of the hot dogs and burger meat to the city council and told them about Chef Carmichael’s plan to poison restaurant diners. The council asked if he had proof and he offered them the food to eat. They tasted the hot dogs and hamburgers but nothing happened. Just then Stephen woke up and it had all been a dream. The End

Alligator Droppings/Bees in the Ballot Box

The Story Pirates begin their roadtrip to StoryTellerCon. Featuring two new stories: ‘Alligator Droppings’, a story about a very fancy breakfast dish that isn’t what it sounds like (or is it?), written by Jocelyn, a 10 year old from Canada, and ‘Bees in the Ballot Box’, a story about the importance of voting, even when there are bunch of bees, written by a 9 year old from Virginia named Trevor. Peter and Lee also sit down with Nimene to read more stories written by kids in the latest installment of Story Love.

Scroll down for the original stories behind the episode!

We need your help finishing our season, and we’re offering personalized videos from Story Pirates Podcast hosts and more! Learn more HERE!

Illustration by Camila Franklin

Alligator Droppings

by Jocelyn, age 10, Canada

Once upon a time a king and queen woke up. The queen yawned and the king said "i am hungry! It must be time for breakfast."

"Yes," said the queen. But what will we eat for breakfast today?"

"Let's get dressed and go down to breakfast and choose our breakfast for today," said the king.

They walked down the stairs into the royal dining room and a castle servant came and said to them, "hello Sir, Hello Madam. What would the royal magasties like for breakfast today?"

"I do not know," said the king.

"I do not know," said the queen.

"Then," said the castle servant, "I will call in all the breakfast makers in the land!"

And so the castle servant called in them all. But the king and the queen said no to them all! They said no to pancakes, waffles, eggs in any styles, cereal, PB and J sanwiches, granola, fuit, yogurt and much more. But none of the breakfasts were quite right.

"Oh dear," said the queen, "is that all?"

"No," said the castle servant, "there is one more. He is quite odd though."

"I do not care!" said the queen, "let him in." And in came a strange man wearing dark, dark sunglasses so they could not see his eyes and wearing bunny ears on his head. He was also carrying a strange bag.

"I think...." the strange man said, "for breakfast you should have....alligator droppings!!!"

"What?!" screamed the king, the queen, and the castle servant all together.

"You heard me," said the strange man. "I said alligator droppings."

The king and the queen were very hungry so they said "OK".

"Follow me!" the strange man anounnced. So the king and queen followed him.

They ran and they ran and they ran until they came to the deep, muddy, disgusting...Alligator Swamp!

"On no!" said the king and queen.

"Here we are!" said the strange man. "Now I just need to find the supplies for getting alligator droppings from my bag.

"Aha!" said the strange man and took out a net, 5 steaks, stilts, beans, 8 more nets, a set of armor, a chess set, a rubber band, rocks, and 19 books. Then he grabbed a belt with a compartment to store stuff in. And then he said "of course the queen will fetch the alligator droppings."

The queen did not want to fetch the droppings, but she was very hungry so she just said "OK." So the strange man got her ready.

The queen waded into the swamp on stilts. She threw beans and steaks and books and a chess set to distract the alligators and went to the droppings.

The queen scooped up all the droppings and began to head back when the alligators attacked her! The alligators tried to nibble her stilts and threw themselves at her snapping their jaws!

"Hiiii Ya!" screamed the queen and she waved about her net of alligator droppings like a club. Then she took the rubber band and the rocks and slingshoted the rocks at the alligators!

Then the queen rushed back to land with the droppings and got off all the stuff. Then the king and the queen and the strange man ran off back to the castle.

When they got back to the castle they went straight to the castle kitchen.

The strange man took out pots and pans and spices and tools and got to work. Soon an amazing smell floated out of the castle kitchen and it was the best smell the king and queen had ever smelled. And then it was time to eat! The king took a bite and the queen took a bite and together they said "mmmmmmm." "Yum!" "Wow!" And together they said "this is delicious!"

"This has been the best and most exieting breakfast we have ever had!"

"Good," said the strange man. "I'll be on my way then."

"Will we ever see you again?" said the king and queen.

"Maybe," said the strange man and then he walked away.

THE END

Bees in the Ballot Box

by Trevor, Age 9, Virginia

Bees in the Ballot Box

A boy stepped into the ballot box for the first time and saw bees voting!

“Ahh” he screamed! “Where am I?!”

“What are you doing here?!” said all the bees at once.

“I don’t know?!” replied the boy. Then he jumped on his bike and pedaled home as fast as possible! When he got home, he screamed, “Mom, Dad, when I went to go voting, bees were voting too!”

“What, where, why?” stammered his mother.

“I don’t know,” replied the boy.

“Let’s just go over there and see,” declared his father. So, they went back.

The bees asked, “What are you doing here and who have you brought with you this time?”

“My mother and father,” answered the boy. “Why are you here?”

The bees replied, “We don’t know. We were just sent here by the queen bee to annoy the humans.”

The boy thought and then said, “Let’s spray the queen bee with bee killer.” It worked! The queen bee died, and the other bees few off wherever they wanted to.

Click to Read Original Stories from Other Episodes.

Story Love Stories

Scroll down to read the original stories or watch Peter, Lee, and special guest Nimene read them and react below:

The Army That Couldn’t Army

by Lucas, age 6, Michigan

Adventures of Evil Pancake Pants and the Question Mark Agency

by Holland, age 10, and Brightly, age 8, Utah

It was a dark night. Evil Pancake Pants was jumping around in his pink hearted underpants. Dun Dun Dun! Then Evil Pancake Pants yells out, "World domination is today!" Then he mysteriously does a back flip.

Meanwhile...

Sir Question Mark the Great and Greg, the Dog Bunny, are making a plan to stop Evil Pancake Pants. Tomorrow they will use their plan.

The next day...

Greg and Question Mark the Great get in a super high speed hot dog Lamborghini and start riding in the car. Greg sticks his tongue out the window. Than Question Mark the Great says, "Great how ya doing back there?" "Ruff ruff!" he responds.

Meanwhile...

at Evil Pancake Pants base he is doing a workout. then all of a sudden, Question Mark the Great pulls up to his base. Then Evil Pancake Pants gets into his hamburger race car.

Then they have a super fast car chase. Then Evil pancake Pants says "Yeah!" During the car chase they pass the bakery and a woman is holding bread. When they pass her, she gets twirled around and looses her bread. Then she screams "I just wanted my bread!" Eventually they get to a dead end and Evil Pancake Pants goes to jail. Then he says, "The End!"

Story Backwards The

by Calvin, age 11, Virginia

(note: a period or comma indicates the end of a backwards phrase.)

Time upon once, short for Jeff or Jeffery was name whose kid a was there. "breakfast for time!" upstairs called mom His. "Heck the what!?" said he. bed he jumped out of, dressed get to. Breakfast get to downstairs walked he. Sneakers his beneath stairs the on wood the went squeak. "Pancakes best the make you mom." Said Jeff. "okay you are?" mom his asked "no oh! day backwards was it forgot I!" "Great, oh." Jeff said. "it of best the make well as might." (Note to the story pirates: this is taking a while to type, so can you guys make the school parts and I'll just skip to the end.) School after. Dessert delicious a and dinner had he. Games video some playing and schoolwork his finishing after, went he bed. "Day backwards another be won't tomorrow least at." said he. The next day he found himself on the ceiling. "Oh no."

End The