The Horrible Pizza/Demons

It’s National Referee Day (again) and the Story Pirates are determined to show Smitty a good time. Featuring two new stories: “The Horrible Pizza,” a flashback-laden chronicle of the unlikely origins of a mythic pizza shop, written by Kiaan and Haley, two siblings from California, and “Demons,” a cautionary tale about what happens to many (most?) families when they go on vacation together, written by an 8 year old from Missouri named Ira. Peter and Lee also read more stories written by kids in the latest installment of Story Love.

Scroll down for the original stories behind the episode!

We need your help finishing our season, and we’re offering personalized videos from Story Pirates Podcast hosts and more! Learn more HERE!

Illustration by Camila Franklin

The Horrible Pizza

by Kiaan, age 9, and Haley, age 7, California

Once upon a time, there were 2 siblings named Kiaan & Haley at an Italian restaurant. They ordered a lot of food including a large pizza. And then Haley & Kiaan took a big bite of the pizza. “BLEGH!!!” yelled the two. They called the manager, and he stomped on top of the table and asked, “Is this about the pizza?” They both said “Yes. Why is it so BAD?” (flashback sequence of owner begins) Two people walked down the sidewalk. The owner yells “You two! You're perfect for the job! Into my kitchen! Now!” (Owner flashback sequence ends
The owner ran into the kitchen and slapped the chefs in the face. “You two didn’t go to culinary school! We’re getting complaints on the pizza!”, the owner said. “Actually, we didn’t go. You just picked us off the sidewalk.” said the employees.
“Mama Mia! Now I must hire a better chef!” said the owner. And that’s what he did and fired the other employees. He hired a master chef named Bob. Bob had great ratings from other people, but he was too expensive for other people. 
“Hello my guy! How’s it going’?” said Bob. “Ummmm…Good!” said the owner worried that he had picked out the wrong chef again. “You want to make a good pizza? Huh. Well, here’s a probably 2 minute & 30 second montage of how to make a perfect pizza.” said Bob.
(Song starts with the tune of The Wheels on The Bus) 
“This is how you make a pizza that’s de-li-cious, de-li-cious de-li-cious! This is how you make a pizza that’s de-li-cious, to finish your Italian restraunt!
Put the dough on a baking sheet, baking sheet, baking sheet! Put the dough on a baking sheet, to make your pizza right!” 
“Whatever” said the chef, not interested. 
“Now put your sauce on the pi-i-zza, spread it out, nice and right! Now put your sauce on the pi-i-zza to make it nice and right! 
Now put your cheese on the pi-i-zza, pi-i-zza, pi-i-zza! Now put your cheese on the pi-i-zza, to make it nice and right! 
Now put your toppings on your pi-i-zza, pi-i-zza, pi-i-zza! Now put your toppings on your pi-i-zza only if the costumer asked! 
Now put the pizza in the pizza box, pizza box, pizza box! Now put the pizza in the pizza box to finish your pizza off!” (song ends) 
“Wow. Did you choreograph that all yourself?” asked the owner “Nope! Improvised all of it!” Answered Bob “Okay. You're hired for sure.” Said the owner “Thank you.” Said Bob
From that day on, the pizzeria was even more popular from the start! Even Kiaan & Haley loved it. “That was truly a good change owner.” Said Bob “Yes. I know.” Said the owner. (Narrator speaks) “A few hundred years later the pizza shop was rusty & dirty. It had spider webs on it. The alleyway next to the shop was stinky. But we all know the real story to that particular glorious pizzeria.” The Owner & Bob came out both with very very very very very very very very very very long beards. “You know what?” said Old Bob “What?” (Uplifting music plays) said Old Owner “We were very good at our jobs.” Answered Old Bob “Wow.” Old Owner said with a tear dropping down his face. “And also we got shut down by the pizza critics for getting white beard hairs in our pizza.” Said Bob (Uplifting music stops) “Nooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Screamed Old Owner.
The End | Fin
PS: Please preform this at October show in San Francisco because we are going to be there.

Demons

by Ira, Age 8, Missouri

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Story Love Stories

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I Want to Marry a Dog!

by Sophie, age 10, Massachusetts

While I don't truly want to marry a dog, the poem is inspired by my deep affection for my dog, Jasmine, a 16-month-old Pomeranian who is nothing short of a cuddle. I hope you’ll enjoy it and consider including it.

The Blinker Butt Horse

by Cedar, age 6, Minnesota

Once upon a time, there was a horse that had blinkers on its butt. Because he was the only horse around with blinkers on his butt, he felt a little sad because he was so different. Other horses and animals would ask him, “Why do you have blinkers on your butt?” but he just didn’t know, and he felt a little embarrassed. One day, he was galloping down the highway, and he noticed someone's car had broken down. He asked how he could help. The person said, “I don’t know! Can you fix my car?!”. The horse did not know how to fix a car and sadly said, “I’m sorry, but I don’t know if I can help you”. Just then, he had an idea! “Oh! I cannot fix your car, but I can give you a ride!”. The person thought for a second, “but wait, can you go on a road?” The horse made a big grin, and he said, “Check it out, I have blinkers on my butt!” They both started laughing, and the person hopped on. The horse with the blinker butt started galloping down the highway and the man made it to work on time. From then on, the horse loved his left and his blinker butt—the end.

Ice Cream Gas

by Marina, age 5, Texas

(Yawn) Good morning, Lily!

Good morning, Tom!

It's time to drive our car to go the famous show! I hope we'll be on time for it. And I hope that our car doesn't run out of gas.

Here we go! Vroommm!

It didn't actually go! It ran out of gas again!

Oh no, mine is ran out of gas too!

I think we have an idea. Mine has enough gas to go to the gas station.

Mine too!

Let's go! Vroom!

We're here at the gas station. Let's fill up our car.

Glug glug glug glug glug.

Our cars are full of gas. Let's get back in! Okay, we turned our car on. And our car is ready to go! Wait, it didn't actually really go after we got a gas refill.

Oh no! Our cars are starting to freeze up! What's happening to our cars?!

Let's check the gas. I guess this door didn't freeze. I know, because it's the hottest door in the car.

Me, too. This one is, too.

Hoo! We got out of the car. Let's check our gas. Let's see...

Oh no! What happened to this gas?!

It... has turned... to ICE CREAMMMMMM!

That's why our cars were frozen! Our cars were full of ice cream, because the gas was ice cream! Naaaa!

Oh! I noticed that the sign on all of the gas stations said... ICE CREAM GAS! Noooooo!

Hooof! I guess we have to go to Southvania to get the gas refilled.

Okay, here we go. On an airplane. Let's go! Vwoooshhh!

We're here at Southvania.

Oh no, look at this gas station sign. It says HOT DOG GAS!

Noooo!

I guess it's the end of the story. Okay!

The End!

Bob’s Impossible Pants/The Weird Inventor (feat. Matt Oberg)

The crew discovers a world traveler (Matt Oberg) who believes it’s still the year 1999. Featuring two new stories: “Bob’s Impossible Pants”, a song about a cursed pair of pants with significant upside, written by Iris, a 9 year old from Massachusetts, and “The Weird Inventor”, a story about a creative builder who has trouble getting others to see his vision, written by an 11 year old from Texas named William. Peter and Lee also read more stories written by kids in the latest installment of Story Love.

Scroll down for the original stories behind the episode!

We need your help finishing our season, and we’re offering personalized videos from Story Pirates Podcast hosts and more! Learn more HERE!

Illustration by Camila Franklin

Bob’s Impossible Pants

by Iris, age 9, Massachusetts

The Weird Inventor

by William, Age 11, Texas

Narrator: Professor Poofenfloofer was always a strange person. You can tell by the stuff

he invented. Don’t believe me? Just watch.

Professor: Welcome to this showcase of the all-new Burger launcher! It launches

burgers!

Person 1: It looks like a trebuchet, a French siege weapon consisting of a wooden beam

on a fulcrum with a weight on one end and a sling on the other, which would be used to

throw stones long distances.

[Crickets Chirping]

Professor: [confused] Um…Thank you for sharing.

George: can it launch patty melts?

Professor: [more confused] ….Yes?

Person 2: Does it launch sandwiches?

Professor: [angry] It is simple! I pull this lever and-

[Machine launches]

Professor: Oops

[in space]

Astronaut: Houston, we have a problem. A burger hit the ship, and there wasn’t even

ketchup!

[Next page!]

[Back on earth]

Professor: my next invention is the world’s fastest car.

Person 1: that is a compact car with rockets duct taped to the top.

Professor: [quietly] Shhh! Some people don’t know that.

George: Can it launch patty melts?

Professor: not everything launches patty melts, George!

Person 2: how does it work?

Professor: You press this button and-Oh

[car shoots forward]

Salesperson: Ramps! Get your ramps!

[car flies upward off ramp]

[space]

Astronaut: [angry] Now there’s a car!

[earth]

Professor: my next invention is an invisible wall!

[runs into invisible wall]

Professor: I forgot it was there.

Professor: my next invention is a device that blows up the nearest loaf of bread.

Person 1: why is it shaped like a loaf of bread?

Professor: Wait-

[explosion]

Person 2: these inventions are useless!

[Professor runs away from the unhappy crowd]

George: I think your inventions are genius.

Professor: you do George?

George: yes! In fact, I will buy lunch.

Professor: Yeah, I’d like a patty melt!

The end

Click to Read Original Stories from Other Episodes.

Story Love Stories

Scroll down to read the original stories or watch Peter, Lee, and special guest Nimene read them and react below:

The Problem

by Seren, age 5, Canada

Once upon a time there was a girl. One day the girl got really mad, and then her problem showed up. The problem crashed through the house and out into the town that the girl lived in. It broke down every house that was in its way. Then everybody had to get on one tiny boat and sail to an island. The boat could only fit two people at a time and everyone needed to get to the island because their houses were smashed. They tried to get four people into the boat but the boat just sank. By the way, the four people were named Tom, Herbert, Jerry, and Peter. The problem just built a castle in the middle of the town and lived there all by itself. The End. PS. The girl who made the problem was a princess.

Why Do I Have a Rainbow Fist?

by Micah, age 6, Virginia

Well, I covered all the tacos with food coloring. Then I ate the tacos. At first my whole body was rainbow but then the doctor tried to help me. But the medicine didn’t push it out but all to my fist.

Or it could have happened like this…

I could have been doing a science experiment where I was trying to bring a rainbow unicorn to life but it was a potion that turned me into a unicorn but I could have made it accidentally a rainbow potion and when I drank it it turned my whole body rainbow. Which led to the Doctor who was only able to push the rainbow to my fist.

The Rainbow fist makes me stronger.

How Bunnies Stay Cute

by Miranda, age 7, Illinois

Everyone thinks that bunnies are just cute and fluffy. But have you wondered how bunnies stay cute and fluffy? It is very simple just 1200 steps for their noses and more for their bodies. All the products cost one million dollars. They ask their butlers (who are hamsters) to give them the products, but the butlers need their butlers who need their butlers who need their butlers who need their butlers who need their butlers who need their butlers who need their butlers to buy beauty products. So, the eighth butlers rob a bank. Since the eighth butlers are fleas, they make the cats and dogs who work at the bank itch. Then they rob the bank and give the stolen money to their butlers who give the money to their butlers who give the money to their butlers who give the money to their butlers who give the money to their butlers who give the money to their butlers who give the money to their butlers who give the money to their butlers who give the money to their butlers. Then the bunnies take the money and buy beauty products.

Clem and Gemp’s Camp/Super Banana Man

Rachel and Nimene face their fears while playing haunted mini-golf. Featuring two new stories: “Clem and Gemp’s Camp”, a story about two outdoor enthusiasts who anger the camping gods, written by Parker, a 7 year old from Arizona, and “Super Banana Man”, about a negligent scientist who leaves his grow ray accessible to a plucky banana, written by a 13 year old from Illinois named Lia. Peter and Lee also read more stories written by kids in the latest installment of Story Love.

Scroll down for the original stories behind the episode!

We need your help finishing our season, and we’re offering personalized videos from Story Pirates Podcast hosts and more! Learn more HERE!

Illustration by Camila Franklin

Clem & Gemp’s Camp

by Parker, age 7, Arizona

Chapter 1 - The Camp Begins

One day Clem and Gemp went camping. They have a camper. "Do you have any snacks," asked Clem? "Yes I do have snacks," said Gemp.

"I'm hot!" Said Gemp. "I have a fan," said Clem.

"AHHHHH!" said Gemp. "What?" said Clem. "A lion!" said Gemp. "Lets be safe in the camper," said Clem. "We are safe," said Gemp.

"A time machine!" said Clem. "There is no such thing as a time machine," said Gemp.

Chapter 2 - The Time Machine

"Lets go to the dinosaur times!" said Clem. "Ok," said Gemp.

"WHAT!" said Gemp.

"AHHHHHHHHH!" said Clem and Gemp.

"Lets go back", said Gemp. "The dinosaurs are no friendly", said Gemp.

"NOOO!", said Gemp.

"Weeeee!!!!!!!", said Clem flying on a pterodactyl.

"??", said Gemp. "Lets go back to the time machine", said Gemp.

Gemp smiled. Clem smiled.

They are back at the camper. "This was too much", said Gemp.

Chapter 3 - Math? Ok then let's do math

"A temple!" said Clem.

"Not this again!" said Gemp.

"Back to the time machine", said Clem.

"Ok then", said Gemp.

"The temple has math", said ?????

"1+3=?", said Gemp.

"4", said Clem.

"Look a box", said Clem. "What's inside", said Gemp. "Gold", said Clem.

The End

To be continued...

Super Banana Man

by Lia, Age 13, Illinois

Sam: It's a beautiful morning! The sun is shining! The birds are singing! I have a feeling something magical is gonna happen today!

Emma: Good morning honey! What would you like for breakfast?

Sam: Hmmm your banana toast sounds extra good this morning…

Rocky: Ruff ruff!

Sam: You're right Rocky! It is delicious!

Emma: I'll get that ready for you!

Banana #1: oooh hear that? Banana toast! I'll bet she picks me today!

Banana #2: You're crazy! You're turning brown! I'm at peak ripeness and will be perfect on toast!

Both bananas laugh

Banana #1: What about you, Calvin? Do you think she will pick you?

Calvin: Oh I hope not! There is nothing I want less!

Banana #2: (puzzled) Then what do you want?

Calvin: I-I want to be a superhero!

Banana #1 & #2 laugh

Banana #1: Bananas can't be superheroes silly!

Banana #2: yea! Were meant to be eaten with toast!

Banana #1 and 2 leave laughing

Calvin: All I want is to be a superhero! Is that too much to ask?

Banana #1: (shouts) Look here she comes!

Emma: Hmmm I think i'll take this one

Banana #1: So long!

Emma: Here's your banana toast dear!

Sam: Thank you honey, I'll eat it on the way, I've got to get this very important grow ray to the lab!

Emma: And I've got to go to my job at the market!

Door slams

Rocky jumps up on counter, bananas scream

Calvin: Ahh!

Rocky: Listen pal, I heard that you want to be a superhero and I think I can help

Rocky drops grow ray on counter

Calvin: The grow ray! I guess Sam forgot it!

Rocky: If I shoot you with this, you will grow big enough to be a superhero!

Calvin: Wow! Thanks Rocky! Do it quickly! Before Sam comes back!

Rocky: Okay!

Rocky shoots Clavin

Calvin: Woooahhh

Calvin: Im-im big! I'm as big as a person! Thanks Rocky!

Rocky: My pleasure! Now go be a sup’!

Calvin: Im outside and-Wooooahhhh

Calvin: I grew! I grew bigger than all the buildings!

Calvin: Ah well, off to town!

At Town…

Calvin: I'm in town and ready to fight some crime!

Crunch

Calvin: Uh oh, My foot made a pot hole in the road! I'll just take another step and-

Crunch

Calvin: Another pothole? That can't be good…but i've just gotta keep going and stop some crime

Crunch crunch crunch

Calvin: Woah!

CRUNCH

Calvin: Woops! I accidentally tripped and knocked over 5 buildings when I fell!

People: Ahhhhhh! It's a monster! Call the police! Help! Etc.

Calvin: Really, I mean no harm! I just want to help!

Screams continue

Cavin: Maybe this wasn't such a good idea…

In the car…

Sam: Oh darn, I forgot the grow ray on the counter at home, better go get it! It's not like anything could have happened in a few minutes…

Car stops, go up steps, open door

Rocky barks

Sam: Rocky, Rocky, I wasn't gone that long! I'm just here to get my grow ray…What's this? Why are you dragging me over to the couch?

Rocky turns on tv

Reporter: A wild huge untamed Banana is roaming the streets of the town, terrorizing all those who live there! Take cover! The banana monster may come to your town next!

Tv clicks off

Sam: Is-is that OUR banana Rocky?

Rocky: (nod nod nod)

Sam: You hit him with the grow ray didn't you? Well we have to get to town and de-shrink him!

In town….

Calvin: Please! I'm not going to hurt you! Stop screaming please! I just wanted to be a superhero!

Car screeches up

Sam: We are here with the grow ray! Now turn this knob and-(click) now it will de-shrink the banana!

Calvin: Wait! Just wait one sec-

Sam: There! Now he is just a little normal banana again!

Rocky: Ruff Ruff

Phone rings

Sam: Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to talk to my wife

Sam: Hi honey, how are you?

Emma: Oh, lovely! The market is great today! But I am kinda hungry..

Sam: How about when we get home I make you banana toast?

Emma: Oh that sounds delicious!

Sam: And I've got the perfect banana to put on it and everything!

Calvin: Nooooooooo

END

Click to Read Original Stories from Other Episodes.

Story Love Stories

Scroll down to read the original stories or watch Peter, Lee, and special guest Nimene read them and react below:

The Banana That Walked to the Sidewalk

by Josh, age 8, Texas

one time a banana walked to the sidewalk it saw a car so it ran then it saw a monster it looked liked an elephant the monster ran towards the banana at the park the banana hid behind the hotdog stand it got a hotdog and threw it at the monster then they got to the desert the banana went to a temple but it made banana and monster shrink banana hid in a mouse hole but monster found it then they got back to the sidewalk banana unpeeled his peel and was the in side of a banana but with 8 arms monster gasped and took of his suit and was a banana and then they were friends and ate burgers the end.

The Day That Dorothy Fell Off a Cliff

by Lilly, age 10, Massachusetts

“Well, that didn’t go well. I can’t believe we let oh chum fall off a cliff. ‘Oh chum’ is British for friend, and friend stands for Dorothy”, said Dorothy’s friends. “It’s not your fault. It was the bird’s fault. It scared me. So, blame the bird.”, said Dorothy. “OK!”, said Dorothy’s friends.

Earlier that day…

”Dorothy, are you ready to go?”, said Katie.

“Yes, Katie, I am just making sure I have everything for our hike to Totally Not Dangerous Cliff!” said Dorothy.

“Are you sure you want to go? It sounds boring.”, said Bob.

“Yes, I’m sure, Bob.”, said Dorothy. “Amaya, did you get the picnic stuff ready yet?”

“Yes, Dorothy!”, said Amaya.

“Alright, let’s go!”, said all of the friends.

…

Three hours later…

“We finally made it to the top!”, said Dorothy.

“Now, let’s start this picnic I’m hungry!”, said Bob.

As the friends started eating, no one saw the bird fly down from the tree. No one saw the bird steal Bob’s phone. No one saw the bird searching for “It’s Peanut Butter Jelly Time”. No one saw the bird press ‘play’.

When the music started, it startled Dorothy so much that she fell off of the cliff…with the food too!

Amaya and Katie were so shocked and upset about Dorothy. Bob was too but mainly about the lost food.

Luckily, Dorothy fell on a tent which cushioned her fall.

Back on the cliff, Bob danced with the bird.

THE END

The Toxic Plate

by Martin, age 8, New York

Once there was a restaurant that was in the middle of the world. The restaurant had teleporters connecting to every home on the planet. The restaurant had great food and was super fancy. It had a grand piano and a chandelier. But no one knew that the food was made from toxic waste. For example the pasta and meatballs were made out of acid and the slim from the river was a key ingredient in the desserts. The head chef, Carmichael, was the only person who knew about this secret. He had just been fired from his last restaurant and he decided that tricking people into eating toxic waste was his plan for revenge. One day Chef Carmichael was out and the Sous Chef named Stephen came in for morning prep and noticed that everything was marked toxic. At first he was confused and he thought to himself, “Am I seeing things right?” and so he decided to make himself a burger. When he ate it at first he felt fine but then his skin started to change colors and glow like a flashlight but then it faded. Horrified, he took some of the hot dogs and burger meat to the city council and told them about Chef Carmichael’s plan to poison restaurant diners. The council asked if he had proof and he offered them the food to eat. They tasted the hot dogs and hamburgers but nothing happened. Just then Stephen woke up and it had all been a dream. The End

Alligator Droppings/Bees in the Ballot Box

The Story Pirates begin their roadtrip to StoryTellerCon. Featuring two new stories: ‘Alligator Droppings’, a story about a very fancy breakfast dish that isn’t what it sounds like (or is it?), written by Jocelyn, a 10 year old from Canada, and ‘Bees in the Ballot Box’, a story about the importance of voting, even when there are bunch of bees, written by a 9 year old from Virginia named Trevor. Peter and Lee also sit down with Nimene to read more stories written by kids in the latest installment of Story Love.

Scroll down for the original stories behind the episode!

We need your help finishing our season, and we’re offering personalized videos from Story Pirates Podcast hosts and more! Learn more HERE!

Illustration by Camila Franklin

Alligator Droppings

by Jocelyn, age 10, Canada

Once upon a time a king and queen woke up. The queen yawned and the king said "i am hungry! It must be time for breakfast."

"Yes," said the queen. But what will we eat for breakfast today?"

"Let's get dressed and go down to breakfast and choose our breakfast for today," said the king.

They walked down the stairs into the royal dining room and a castle servant came and said to them, "hello Sir, Hello Madam. What would the royal magasties like for breakfast today?"

"I do not know," said the king.

"I do not know," said the queen.

"Then," said the castle servant, "I will call in all the breakfast makers in the land!"

And so the castle servant called in them all. But the king and the queen said no to them all! They said no to pancakes, waffles, eggs in any styles, cereal, PB and J sanwiches, granola, fuit, yogurt and much more. But none of the breakfasts were quite right.

"Oh dear," said the queen, "is that all?"

"No," said the castle servant, "there is one more. He is quite odd though."

"I do not care!" said the queen, "let him in." And in came a strange man wearing dark, dark sunglasses so they could not see his eyes and wearing bunny ears on his head. He was also carrying a strange bag.

"I think...." the strange man said, "for breakfast you should have....alligator droppings!!!"

"What?!" screamed the king, the queen, and the castle servant all together.

"You heard me," said the strange man. "I said alligator droppings."

The king and the queen were very hungry so they said "OK".

"Follow me!" the strange man anounnced. So the king and queen followed him.

They ran and they ran and they ran until they came to the deep, muddy, disgusting...Alligator Swamp!

"On no!" said the king and queen.

"Here we are!" said the strange man. "Now I just need to find the supplies for getting alligator droppings from my bag.

"Aha!" said the strange man and took out a net, 5 steaks, stilts, beans, 8 more nets, a set of armor, a chess set, a rubber band, rocks, and 19 books. Then he grabbed a belt with a compartment to store stuff in. And then he said "of course the queen will fetch the alligator droppings."

The queen did not want to fetch the droppings, but she was very hungry so she just said "OK." So the strange man got her ready.

The queen waded into the swamp on stilts. She threw beans and steaks and books and a chess set to distract the alligators and went to the droppings.

The queen scooped up all the droppings and began to head back when the alligators attacked her! The alligators tried to nibble her stilts and threw themselves at her snapping their jaws!

"Hiiii Ya!" screamed the queen and she waved about her net of alligator droppings like a club. Then she took the rubber band and the rocks and slingshoted the rocks at the alligators!

Then the queen rushed back to land with the droppings and got off all the stuff. Then the king and the queen and the strange man ran off back to the castle.

When they got back to the castle they went straight to the castle kitchen.

The strange man took out pots and pans and spices and tools and got to work. Soon an amazing smell floated out of the castle kitchen and it was the best smell the king and queen had ever smelled. And then it was time to eat! The king took a bite and the queen took a bite and together they said "mmmmmmm." "Yum!" "Wow!" And together they said "this is delicious!"

"This has been the best and most exieting breakfast we have ever had!"

"Good," said the strange man. "I'll be on my way then."

"Will we ever see you again?" said the king and queen.

"Maybe," said the strange man and then he walked away.

THE END

Bees in the Ballot Box

by Trevor, Age 9, Virginia

Bees in the Ballot Box

A boy stepped into the ballot box for the first time and saw bees voting!

“Ahh” he screamed! “Where am I?!”

“What are you doing here?!” said all the bees at once.

“I don’t know?!” replied the boy. Then he jumped on his bike and pedaled home as fast as possible! When he got home, he screamed, “Mom, Dad, when I went to go voting, bees were voting too!”

“What, where, why?” stammered his mother.

“I don’t know,” replied the boy.

“Let’s just go over there and see,” declared his father. So, they went back.

The bees asked, “What are you doing here and who have you brought with you this time?”

“My mother and father,” answered the boy. “Why are you here?”

The bees replied, “We don’t know. We were just sent here by the queen bee to annoy the humans.”

The boy thought and then said, “Let’s spray the queen bee with bee killer.” It worked! The queen bee died, and the other bees few off wherever they wanted to.

Click to Read Original Stories from Other Episodes.

Story Love Stories

Scroll down to read the original stories or watch Peter, Lee, and special guest Nimene read them and react below:

The Army That Couldn’t Army

by Lucas, age 6, Michigan

Adventures of Evil Pancake Pants and the Question Mark Agency

by Holland, age 10, and Brightly, age 8, Utah

It was a dark night. Evil Pancake Pants was jumping around in his pink hearted underpants. Dun Dun Dun! Then Evil Pancake Pants yells out, "World domination is today!" Then he mysteriously does a back flip.

Meanwhile...

Sir Question Mark the Great and Greg, the Dog Bunny, are making a plan to stop Evil Pancake Pants. Tomorrow they will use their plan.

The next day...

Greg and Question Mark the Great get in a super high speed hot dog Lamborghini and start riding in the car. Greg sticks his tongue out the window. Than Question Mark the Great says, "Great how ya doing back there?" "Ruff ruff!" he responds.

Meanwhile...

at Evil Pancake Pants base he is doing a workout. then all of a sudden, Question Mark the Great pulls up to his base. Then Evil Pancake Pants gets into his hamburger race car.

Then they have a super fast car chase. Then Evil pancake Pants says "Yeah!" During the car chase they pass the bakery and a woman is holding bread. When they pass her, she gets twirled around and looses her bread. Then she screams "I just wanted my bread!" Eventually they get to a dead end and Evil Pancake Pants goes to jail. Then he says, "The End!"

Story Backwards The

by Calvin, age 11, Virginia

(note: a period or comma indicates the end of a backwards phrase.)

Time upon once, short for Jeff or Jeffery was name whose kid a was there. "breakfast for time!" upstairs called mom His. "Heck the what!?" said he. bed he jumped out of, dressed get to. Breakfast get to downstairs walked he. Sneakers his beneath stairs the on wood the went squeak. "Pancakes best the make you mom." Said Jeff. "okay you are?" mom his asked "no oh! day backwards was it forgot I!" "Great, oh." Jeff said. "it of best the make well as might." (Note to the story pirates: this is taking a while to type, so can you guys make the school parts and I'll just skip to the end.) School after. Dessert delicious a and dinner had he. Games video some playing and schoolwork his finishing after, went he bed. "Day backwards another be won't tomorrow least at." said he. The next day he found himself on the ceiling. "Oh no."

End The

The Bed/Do Not Disturb (feat. Alison Pill)

Welcome back to season 8 of the Story Pirates Podcast! In this first episode, the Story Pirates receive an intriguing invitation and meet a new adversary. Featuring two new stories: ‘The Bed’, a song about an exhausted doctor just looking for somewhere to nap, written by Bentley, a 9 year old from New York, and ‘Do Not Disturb’, a story about one girl’s unending quest to keep her family out of her bedroom, written by a 9 year old from Virginia named Mallory. We also debut our new segment ‘Story Love’ where Lee and Peter read and discuss more stories written by kids with a special guest: the incredible actor Alison Pill.

Scroll down for the original stories behind the episode!

We need your help finishing our season, and we’re offering personalized videos from Story Pirates Podcast hosts and more! Learn more HERE!

Illustration by Camila Franklin

The Bed

by Bentley, age 9, New York

Once there was a doctor named Doctor Bentley. He worked in the hospital. Doctor Bentley liked to say “I help the sick patients.” The patients call him on the telephone when they are sick. He helps them feel better.

One day. Doctor Bentley was super tired. He looks for a hospital bed to take a nap. Doctor Bentley sees an X-Ray mactiine. He tried to sleep on the machine and it was comfortable: but people could see his bones. So, Doctor Bentley went to find a new bed. He found an MRI machine. He tried to sleep on the machine and it was comfortable; but he heard sounds like smoke sounds. So, Doctor Bentley went to find a new bed. He found a wheelchair. He tried to sleep in the chair and it was comfortable; but he started to roll away. So, Doctor Bentley decided to go home to his house. He went straight for his bed in the bedroom. Doctor Bentley immediately falls asleep.

The End!

Our adaptation of “The Bed” was written and produced by Jack Mitchell

Do Not Disturb

by Mallory, Age 9, Virginia

One day, there was a girl named Mallory who was making a do not disturb sign because her annoying little sister Dorothy had been coming in without knocking. And Mallory was getting mad. NOT a surprise. After all, she is an annoying sister. so, Mallory hung up the sign.

Over the course of the next few days, her family ignored the sign. Like when her dad came in without knocking to tuck her in. and when her mom came in without knocking with laundry. And when Dorothy came in WITHOUT KNOCKING and left three seconds later.

“What is your deal? The sign literally says, ‘do not disturb’ so you Do not disturb!” Mallory told her family. They ignored her. They were scrolling on their phones. Mallory was annoyed.

“BRUH” Mallory said. So, she decided to add more. She made posters that read: bodyguards wanted if interested show up at my house on august 29th at 6:00 am. I will be jumping up and down in my blue flower pj’s. Mallory hung the posters up all over town. The next day, Mallory went to her front door and started jumping up and down. Four of the wannabe bodyguards saw her and thought in their heads oh no that’s the kid I’m working for she looks like she has rabies. I guess I will go anyway. they went to her house and one of them asked “are we going to be doing the interviews in your room?” asked a bodyguard. “Yes, we are.” Mallory answered. “SOOO, are we going through the front door?” asked another. “Nope. Probably not.” Said another.

“You’re right. We’re not. Okay, Smurf guy! You! With the blue hair and skin! and pajama pants! Your first!” Mallory screamed. “Um… okay.” Said Smurf guy. “Form a line! when it’s your turn, you can choose to climb up the ladder or jump on the trampoline.” Mallory said gesturing to a trampoline and a ladder. Smurf guy chose to climb because the trampoline seemed immature. He climbed up and entered a very, very, very, very, very, pink room.

“The chairs are really small.” Smurf guy said as he sat down in the chairs Dorothy used to do her nails. “Why do you want to be a bodyguard?” Mallory asked. Ignoring his observation. “Well, I need to Mak-” he began. “Okay, you’re done.” I see you have a lot of experience. And I will get back to you in thirty minutes” Mallory interrupted. She made him jump out the window and he broke his Rist. This is how every interview went. Smurf guy was hired. Along with 5 other

Then she ordered an airport machine. Which came the day later. It was delivered by Mallory’s 5-month-old cousin Juliet. Juliet got out of her truck and crawled to the front door with the airport machine on her back and Mallory put it together just as the bodyguards showed up. Luckly, they didn’t knock poor Juliet over when they ran in., she made them go back out and WALK in.

“You almost knocked my little cousin over. Say sorry” she lectured them. “Sorry.” They said after a few lame tries. Mallory and Juliet went to Mallory’s room and started playing. A few hours later, Dorothy walked out of her room, and she saw the airport machine and the security, and she tried to move the airport machine, but it wouldn’t budge. So, she went through the machine. And looked up at Smurf guy. he didn’t notice. So she hit him in the knee. She was short very short. So she just walked right in.

“HOW DID YOU GET PASS SECURITY!?” Mallory screamed. “Oh, you mean the airport thingamabob outside?” Dorothy asked. “Man, I thought you were smarter than that.” Mallory said. “Well, get out!” Dorothy left.

The next day, Mallory’s dad walked out of his room with his work clothes on, looked at the security, shrugged, and went on with his day. Then a few hours later, Dorothy went to her mom and said “mommy, you probably don’t know this, but Mallory’s room, the one you walk by every day, has bodyguards and an airport thingamabob.” “Oh, I know. I walk. By it every day. And I’m sick of it.” So, Mallory’s mom went to Mallory’s room, pushed pass the bodyguards and opened her door.

“ Mallory fire the- really. you got all this security the airport thing the security guards to lay on your bed. Wow.” Mom said looking around. Juliet had left. The keyboard was fine the thing she was mad about was that Mallory was laying on her bed. “Sorry. I’m growing. I need space.” Mallory said innocently. She got grounded. And they lived security free for the next few months until Dorothy had this situation happen.

The end!!!!!!!!

Click to Read Original Stories from Other Episodes.

Story Love Stories

Scroll down to read the original stories or watch Peter, Lee, and special guest Alison Pill read them and react below:

The Squirrel That Disagreed With Talking Pumpkins

by Audrey, age 11, Colorado

Pumpkins…who needs em?

Humans…who needs em?

Us squirrels could totally rule this world!

Oh…ahem! Sorry..I’m getting ahead of myself, my name is Ava, Ava the squirrel! And I have a problem, it’s called talking pumpkins!!!

They are monstrosities who mock us squirrels cause we used to eat pumpkins. Before they started talking….

How did it happen,you say? Well there was a human who bought a pumpkin for her daughter to carve into a jack-o-lantern for her daughters birthday, but they left the pumpkin out too long..it started to hear words that the words the humans were saying..then it had been left out still too much longer, and the pumpkin started to talk. Then the humans were so scared they took it to the grocery store to ask, but at the store the pumpkin rolled out of their arms and taught all the other pumpkins in the entire large grocery store, how to talk. Then the pumpkins ran away from the grocery store and started annoying us squirrels, because we used to eat pumpkins. They made us miserable with..hard riddles! My best friend, James, got a practically impossible riddle!! It’s time that this stops! Once and for all! Fellow, squirrels come together!! We have to band together to stop these talking pumpkin menaces!! So, that night we told those pumpkins “enough is enough,””we’re so tired of these hard riddles, we’re so tired of us being mad at us, ,so tired of you mocking us, and so tired of you frustrating all the squirrels” “can’t we be friends? Instead of you annoying us all day and all night”. “Let us think about it” the pumpkins told us! Think about it! Ugh, how annoyed, I, am. I, am, Ava, the squirrel, and I disagree with talking pumpkins! The very next day the pumpkins said “ we thought about it and decided”….”sure”

The end!

The Banana Touch

by Jon, age 8, Tennessee

<Alarm Clock rings>

The mom: Honey! Wake up for breakfast, the bus will be here any second!

Willbert: Coming, mom! Oh, the bus is already here, I better go, bye mom!

<Willbert at school>

Bob: Hi Willbert!

Willbert: Hi Bob.

Teacher: Today we are learning science.

Random student: We are in kindergarten.

<End of school>

Willbert: Wow, that was a looong school day. Hey (spots something on the ground), what's this? Ooooh, a ring. I'll put this in my ring collection.

<Later that day at home>

Willbert: Mom, check out this ring that I found.

Mom: Oh Willbert, throw that in the trashcan!

Willbert: Why mom?

Mom: Because the banana gods have chosen you.

Willbert: Don't worry, it's not like you are gonna turn into a banana or something.

<Willbert slides on the ring and touches his mom>

Willbert: Oh no!!! My mom DID turn into a banana!!

Narrator: Then Willbert remembered that he had a magic lamp in the closet. So he ran to the closet and he rubs the lamp so hard that a genie comes out and says:

Genie: You only have one wish or if you need one more you will have to give me a million dollars.

Narrator: So they boy went to the store. He found one million dollars for a penny and ran back to the genie and gave him a million dollars and he gave him another wish. Yessss!

Willbert: Genie, my two wishes are my mom being a human again, not a banana, and me not having a spell on me.

Genie: Of course.

<whooshing sound, and mom-banana turns back into a human>

Willbert: Oh mom!!!

Narrator: Then, he hugged his mom.

Willbert: Oh no...not again... (his mom turned into a banana. again).

THE END