Alfred and the Broken Cup/Princess Lemon and the Tennis Tournament (feat. Kate Micucci)

Baby With a Moustache runs into her estranged sister, Toddler With a Goatee (Kate Micucci). Featuring two new stories: “Alfred and the Broken Cup”, a story about a man who goes to great lengths to fix a leak, written by a 2nd grader from New York named Alfred, and “Princess Lemon and the Tennis Tournament”, a story about enterprising young Princess who uses her tennis excellence to make a sour process awfully sweet, written by an 8 year old from Arizona named Norah. Peter and Lee also read more stories written by kids in the latest installment of Story Love.

Check out a longer, more awesome version of Story Love on YouTube!
Submit kids’ stories at storypirates.com/submit-a-story

Scroll down for the original stories behind the episode!

Story Pirate Live tickets on the east coast and Ohio are on sale now HERE!

Illustration by Camila Franklin

Alfred and the Broken Cup

by Alfred, 2nd grade. New York

Once there was a cup of coffee. This is a cup of coffee. It is brown coffee. It tastes like chocolate. Oh no! The cup broke!" Alfred said.
“My coffee is dripping out! Help!” Alfred will save the coffee! “I will fix the cup!" Alfred tries to tape the cup. It does not work. The coffee is dripping. Alfred puts the cup in a bag. It does not work. The coffee is dripping. Alfred tries to put the cup on a chocolate bar. It does not work. The coffee is dripping. Alfred decided he is thirsty. He drinks the coffee. Alfred says, “This is not coffee! It is hot chocolate!
DEEEEIICIOUS!”

The End.

Princess Lemon and the Tennis Tournament

by Norah, age 8, Arizona

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess named Princess Lemon. She and everyone in the Lemon Kingdom absolutely loved lemons. But she always felt like something was missing.

Princess Lemon was sweet and kind and nice and beautiful. And sometimes silly when no one noticed. But everyone else in the Lemon Kingdom was so sour all the time. She dreamed of finding someone sweet. Princess Lemon decided to host a tennis tournament (because she loved tennis so much.) She invited every man in her kingdom and all the nearby princes. If one of them could beat her, she would marry him! The tournament brought people from all over the world, including Prince Onion, Prince Radish, Prince Sugar, Prince Potato, and Prince Taco. Even a cute dog named Rufus came to chase all the tennis balls at the tournament! The tournament went on all day. Finally only Prince Radish and Prince Sugar were left battling to see who would go up against Princess Lemon. Prince Radish broke his tennis racket! He was really mad! Prince Sugar gave him his backup tennis racket. Princess Lemon realized that Prince Sugar was really sweet and nice! Prince Sugar beat Prince Radish! Now it was time to play Princess Lemon! He brought her a beautiful bouquet of sugar cane. That was so nice. Princess Lemon tried a little sugar and thought “that’s the thing that’s missing!” Princess Lemon and Prince Sugar played an epic game of tennis. Princess Lemon won! Everyone was amazed at her tennis skills. Prince Sugar was devastated because he really wanted to marry Princess Lemon! But Princess Lemon had realized that Prince Sugar was what she was looking for all along! He was very sweet. She said “I’ll marry you anyway!” She had given his sugar cane bouquet to her chef who made the most amazing lemon bars she ever had! Prince Sugar was overjoyed! They planned an amazing wedding! Princess Lemon wore lemons on her wedding dress and Prince Sugar wore sugar cubes on his suit. Their wedding favors were cups of lemon slices and sugar cubes. But then it rained! Oh no! Everyone thought the day was ruined and their kingdoms would never be united. The wedding favors were filling up with rain too! But Princess Lemo took a sip of the rainwater. It was the best thing ever! Everyone tried it and rejoiced! They called it lemonade and became the Lemonade Kingdom. King Sugar and Queen Lemon lived happily ever after!

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Story Love Stories

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The Rolling Restaurant

by Beth, age 6, Canada

Once upon a time, there was a girl and she liked to go to restaurants. One time when she was in one of her many restaurants, she felt some bumping. And then she felt some wobbling. But then, she looked out the window and she saw that the restaurant had wheels!

She went to the front of the restaurant where you order your food, and saw that there was a steering wheel. He didn’t even notice her. It was zooming through the town!

And that’s why you should never go to a restaurant unattended that doesn’t have an outside.

The end.

3 Broken Heros

by Ronan, age 9, Connecticut

There were 3 weird birds. 1 had no wings, another had a roller coaster hat and the last one was a baby bird that created the world. They wanted to become knights, but they were untrained. To train they battled the furniture god Mr. Garlic Guy. They defeated him on the 732nd try. Then a giant piano with wings came to the village. He was also made by an evil scientist named Bob who came from piano planet. They used their new onion shredders to defeat the giant piano. He was defeated then all the birds had a pizza party.

PS. the bird with a roller coaster hat's name was 3, the one with no feather's name is Broken, and the baby that made the world's name is Hero's.

Skeleton Man + Key Lime Pie

by Margot, age 8, North Carolina
Once there was an SM. You can guess what that is! He was made of yogurt. It was made of key lime pie. He had all the tech. He had a watch that was so high tech you couldn't even blink when you saw it. Once he made a maid robot helper. She does anything even fly and barf out rainbows and shoot fire. One day he was spooked. The maid was evil! She got a big black castle and lived in it. She became a vampire and eated only one thing. Hairy yodels! Then moo moo man the super hero cow defeated her. Then the whole thing happened 100000000000000000 more times. Everyone now eats lo-lontinotas aka potatoes. The end.

The Grouchy Friends/The Girl Who Never Fell Asleep (feat. Jeff Hiller and Hannah Solow)

Peter has a surprising encounter with Evil Robot Peter at a huge gas station that sells everything you could ever need. Featuring two new stories: “The Grouchy Friends”, a song about two pals, a horse (Jeff Hiller) and a bear (Hannah Solow), who have to work extra hard to get along, written by Dylan, a 6 year old from the New York, and “The Girl Who Never Fell Asleep”, a story about a mom with some pretty surprising ideas about how to wind down, written by a 9 year old from New York named Wilder. Peter and Lee also read more stories written by kids in the latest installment of Story Love.

Scroll down for the original stories behind the episode!

Story Pirate Live tickets on the east coast and Ohio are on sale now HERE!

Illustration by Camila Franklin

The Grouchy Friends (Feat. Jeff Hiller and Hannah Solow)

by Dylan, age 6. New York

The bear and the horse are talking. The bear is grouchy because the horse is noisy. The bear is trying to be friendly and telling him to be quiet.

Our adaptation of “The Grouchy Friends” was written and produced by Eric Gersen

The Girl Who Never Fell Asleep

by Wilder, age 9, New York

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Story Love Stories

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The Five Cars

by Sammy, age 6, Washington

Five cars were at the start line. Their names were called Rusty Radar, Crackererer, Bas House, Super Slinker and Donker Zonker. And then Super Slinker skidded off the side with Rusty Radar was in first until...he broke his radar! He stopped then Crackererer popped a tire. After that he got repaired and skidded into Donker Zonker. And Bas House Won the race. Impressive!

The Thing I Lost

by Ellen, age 9, California

Once there was a man named Bobby. He almost NEVER loses things. One day he lost his cat. Bobby searched everywhere but couldn't find his cat! So he finally decided toretrace his steps. But he had to get his cat back in thirty minutes!

Four minutes later…..

Bobby was on the beach. He walked for a while and then bumped into a VERY sunburned man. Bobby said “have you seen my cat?” the man said “No, have you seen my sunscreen?” “No, sorry,” said Bobby and walked away.

Six minutes later…..

Then, Bobby was in France. He climbed to the top of the eiffel tower and met a woman.
“Hi, have you seen my cat?” No, have you seen my sunglasses?” asked the woman.
“No, sorry.” Bobby said back, and climbed back down the eiffel tower.

Ten minutes later…..

Bobby was in a random place in Texas. “Howdy there human!” said a random cowboy. “Uh, hi?” said Bobby back. “Are you looking for your cat?” Said the random cowboy. “Yeah, how did you know?” asked Bobby. “I can read minds. Anyways, check in your pocket!” said the random cowboy. “Ok?” said Bobby. He checked in his pocket. “AHA!” yelled Bobby. “Here it is! My Camera Arm Toaster! I still have ten minutes left so I better get going! THANKS RANDOM COWBOY!”

Seven minutes later…….

Then, Bobby was home. He could finally set up his Camara Arm Toaster!

THE END!

Popcorn Robot Egg

by Henri, age 6, Rhode Island
One morning a farmer checks on his chicken eggs. He finds that one of them is a robot egg. The egg opens and inside is a diamond crystal. The egg shell transforms around the diamond and becomes a human robot and the diamond becomes his heart. The robot man shoots golden tickets out of himself because he is also a ticket-making factory. People start to find the tickets on the ground. They show them to the news and learn the ticket gets them a free trip to Las Vegas. But the tickets are magic and turn the people who found them into robots, too. Once they get to Las Vegas they start covering the city in popcorn.

The Human Light Bulb who got his powers in a lightning storm created by another superhero Lightning Strike, two hundred years ago, showed up. He created a thunder cloud that zapped the robots burying the city and turned them back into humans. He zapped the popcorn to clean the city. He also zapped the robot man that came from the egg, who fell apart. His diamond crystal heart was put in the museum and the parts of the robot were used to make new robots. The new robots, along with the farmer, helped repair the city and protect it from then on. Everyone lived happily ever after.

The end.

Farmageddon

Today’s brand new story is about a kid who is stuck inside of a movie and has to find a way out. Written by a 10 year old from Texas named Logan.

Scroll down for the original stories behind the episode!

We need your help finishing our season, and we’re offering personalized videos from Story Pirates Podcast hosts and more! Learn more HERE!

F a r m a g e d d o n

by Logan, age 10, Texas

Once upon a time exactly 217 seconds before August 14th, 2002 8:00 A.M., there lived a boy named Ethan. And Ethan loved movies. But if you’re thinking stuff like Kpop Demon Hunters, then you’re wrong, ‘cause in the 2000s, movies were utterly unhinged, like Freaky Friday, or Monster House. So, the boy loved movies. But his favorite had to be Farm Life, about a time when everyone was a farmer. But it turns out an evil warlock cursed everyone to be farmers. But maybe the movie makers slacked off, because after the main character screams ‘no’ because he has to be a farmer for eternity, it just cuts to the credits. But Ethan liked it, because he liked imagination. So, when he found a genie at the haunted antique store with absolutely no name whatsoever, he wished that the Farm Life movie was real.

But this genie had strict rules when it came to this. He said that Ethan had the duration of the movie to reach the happy ending, which meant Ethan had an hour to save the world from something that doesn’t exist (as in, it’s a fictional villain). If he prevails, things will go back the way it was. But if not, the world will stay like that forever. Now, you remember when I told you about how the movie makers slacked off and forgot to put an ending? Well, this is the consequence. Now Ethan was on his own, and he couldn’t unwish it. Even the genie disappeared, because there were no genies in the movie Farm Life. And now, it was exactly 83 seconds after August 14th, 2002 8:00 A.M..

So, first, there was the prologue, in which the hero talked about how great the farm life was. But Ethan was in a rush. So he tried to remember where the warlock’s lair was. But everyone, even his brother, Naethan, tried to distract him with the “wonders of farm life.” So, he tried running, but everyone was creeping up to him fast. So, he ran some more. Ran for his life. And he finally got there, to Cleaveux Mountain. So, he tried to figure out the password. The pad had 12 buttons to push, with 0, A, and B as 10, 11, and 12, respectively. So, with his memory, he knew the first was the top-right corner, so 4. Then, there was the bottom-right corner, so B. After that, there was the one left to B, so A. Lastly, there was B again. So the code was 4BAB. Ethan entered the code, and it worked. So he was at the climax with 50 minutes left.

At last. Twas’ time to save the world. The warlock, Cleaveux, went on with his evil monologue, which gave Ethan the perfect time to strike. It was way easier than you might have thought it would be. Alone, Cleaveux was weak, and whenever he used a spell, he had to first recite the incantation. So Cleaveux was knocked out in 5 minutes. And Ethan saved the world in exactly 15 minutes.

But that isn’t the end. In the big 2020, he reported his tall tale to the makers of Farm Life and encouraged them to make a reboot with a finished story. And they did, which wasted the company $80K. Bet those slackers regret what they did.

T h e E n d

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Story Love Stories

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Back in My Day

by Elizabeth, age 9, New Zealand

The Bog Problems

by Oslo, age 10, North Carolina

One day in the city on Mars… “Mayor we have a problem” said the mayor’s assistant “here’s a taco” said the mayor. “But the problem is“, but then aliens from Pluto came and kept beating everyone at Uno and they were stealing Martian coins! With their new money they bought emoji masks. One of them was a poop emoji. everyone was laughing then the mayor got everyone on a giant couch and they all watched Wetube. everybody had forgotten about the problem from the beginning except the assistant. He told the mayor “the problem is that your golden toilet is clogged” then the mayor gave the assistant a plunger.

the end

p.s. Wetube is the Martian version of YouTube

Jane and Apple Fall Down Because of the Dinosaur

by Mavin, age 5, Illinois
Jane and Apple are sisters and they were walking home in the desert and a big dinosaur was sleeping. And while they were quietly walking, Apple sneezed and then the dinosaur woke up! And then the surprised Apple chases the dinosaur and then Mr. Paper Towel came out from behind spaghetti and then the mom t-rex came out. Then the mom picked up the dinosaur that was woken up and tucked them back in bed. Then the mom dinosaur chased Apple, Jane, & Mr. Paper Towel. Then a pterodactyl came out of the clouds and spread his wings, grabbed a fish, and dropped it in mom dinosaur's mouth. Apple, Jane, & Mrs. Paper Towel found bananas and made a car to escape and go back home. Apple and Jane made a new rule not to walk home through the desert again.

Penny the Multi-Talented Girl/Husbordes (feat. Glo Tavarez)

Nimene and Lee discover a curious house and its even more curious proprietor (Glo Tavarez). Featuring two new stories: “Penny the Multi-Talented Girl”, about a girl who does everything well and her search for a true friend, written by Mia, age 9 from the UK, and “Husbordes”, a story about a mad scientist who manages to combine hoverboards and husbands, written by a 14 year old from Texas named Olivia. Peter and Lee also read more stories written by kids in the latest installment of Story Love.

Scroll down for the original stories behind the episode!

We need your help finishing our season, and we’re offering personalized videos from Story Pirates Podcast hosts and more! Learn more HERE!

Illustration by Camila Franklin

Penny the Multi-Talented Girl

by Mia, age 9, UK

Penny was a girl. She wasn’t just any girl she was… multi-talented girl! Penny had so many friends because she was good at everything but sometimes she wondered what would happen if she made a mistake. One thought led to another and she thought her friends only liked her because she was good at everything. Penny was sad. Just at that moment one of her(many)friends(from the sporty genre)walked in the empty classroom Penny was in and sat next to her. “You okay Penny you look blue but that might be paint since you’re good at everything including art.” “Seriously Max well I am a bit sad. I feel like everybody’s my friend just because I’m good at everything.” “Well even if that is true I like you for who you are. Isn’t that enough?” “You know what you’re right! I’ve got you and that’s all I need!”

So, Penny and Max became best friends and Penny told all of her so-called friends to like her for herself, like Max, and then maybe they can be proper friends with Penny. “Come on Penny let’s go outside, jump up and shout the end in sync!”

“The end!”

Husbordes

by Olivia, age 14, Texas
It was a dark and stormy night and Dr. Blaire McMad was in her laboratory. She was thinking to herself about her recent ideas, but there is something I must tell you, Dr. Blaire always had odd ideas. Let me tell you about a few of them. One of her ideas was a cat car. Which was a major disaster. This was a car that was powered by cats. She knew she needed more ideas, but what? Blaire McMad thought and thought all day, but then she had an idea. She loved to ride on her hoverboard, but the standing platform of the hoverboard had broken. What thing could she use instead? When she opened the door she saw her husband named Tom waiting for her at the door! She had a crazy idea. What if she used Tom to make a new platform for the hoverboard? So she asked Tom if he was OK with it and he was! So the next day she took him with her to work and tied him to the hoverboard. It worked, and now husboreds are sold all over the US!

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Story Love Stories

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How We Got the Moon

by Cody, age 8, Virginia

This is how we really got the moon, up in space, there was a wishing star who had a wish. He asked everyone, “May you grant this wish for me to be a big giant ball of rock that orbits around my favorite planet, Earth?” He searched far and wide. (WOOSH) he asked his great Uncle Starford, “Will you grant my wish?” “No,” said Starford. (WOOSH) He asked crazy ol Star Mcstucket. “Will you grant my wish?” “I can’t,” he answered. (WOOSH) he asked his sister Ursa Mabel. “Will you grant my wish?” “Why should I?” Until he got to Earth’s Sun and questioned “Can (pant) you please grant me (pant) my wish (pant) to be a rock that (pant) orbits around the planet (pant), Earth?”. The sun answered, “Yes, but under one condition: everyone must call you Moon.” Star (A.K.A. Moon) said, “Yes!” there was a huge pop and he instantly turned into the Moon. And that's the real ridiculous story of how we got the Moon. The end.

The World Where You Cannot Say Help

by Beth, age 6, Canada

Once upon a time there was a girl, and she needed help because she was stuck in a tree. And she said, “Help!”

And here parents said, “You can’t say help! Just get down.”

“But I can’t get down.”

“You should have just said that!”

“OK, but why can’t we say help?”

“Because that’s the rule.”

“Who says that we can’t say help?”

“The Mayor.”

“Oh. Then help me down.”

“But we said you can’t say help.”

“Okay, just get me down.”

“OK.”

The girl was down. And then she said, “Can you get my scooter out?”

OK, and the parents got her scooter out. And she hopped on.

“Where are you going?”

“Just to tell the Mayor.”

“OK, but he might not say yes.”

“Ok, bye!”

And the girl went to tell the Mayor.

And the Mayor said, “Why do you ask this question?

Because I said “help.”

“I thought I made it clear not to say ‘Help.’”

“But are you going to say Yes or No?”

“Let me think about it. But please do not say help again.”

“But you said ‘help.’”

“Ooops, but you said help too.”

“Ooops. Okay, let’s stop talking about this.”

“How did you get here in the first place?”

“I scootered.”

And then she scootered home.

Her parents said, “Hi!”

And she said, “Hi!”

And her parents let her in for a cup of tea and maybe some brownies. And the parents asked, “Sweetie, what did he say.”

“He’s still deciding.”

“Um, OK. But it’s time to go to bed. Maybe the next day we’ll figure out if he said it or not.”

And then they all went to bed.

… except for the dog. And the dog hopped on the scooter and rode off.

And the next day, she went to tell the Mayor, but she had no scooter! But she still had a helmet, and knee pads, and elbow pads, and fingerless gloves.

So she went to look for her scooter. And she found the dog underneath the tree, next to her scooter. And she was like, “What happened?”

And she went and got a translator and put it on the dog, and the dog said, “I was scootering!”

And she said, “you’re not meant to scooter on my scooter, okay?” And she took her scooter back.

And then she took her scooter, and the dog had made it halfway to the Mayor’s house, she only had to scooter the rest of the way.

She went to the Mayor’s house and the Mayor said: “Yes!”

“Oh yay!”

“But now we have to call it: the No Saying Yes Town”

“But you just said ‘Yes’.”

“Oh, uh oh… go and tell your parents please.”

So, she scootered to the dog, and got the dog and scootered home and she got to her parents and said…

“This is the end.”

The End.

The Rapping Lawyer

by Beckett, age 10, Canada
There once was a lawyer who only rapped. He was so good if he lost he would pay his clients 1,000,000 gooses. And every time he went to court it became a rap battle. Ps he lives in Arizona.

The Birthday Fiasco/The Backwards Hat

Lord Eric Half-Elven, champion of the weak and all around cool dude, rallies his compatriots to slay the Great Serpent. Featuring two new stories: “The Birthday Fiasco”, about a string of birthday gift robberies that can only be foiled by the Animal Buddies, written by Carmella, age 7 in Canada, and “The Backwards Hat”, a story about what happens when a magic top hat turns everything topsy-turvy, written by Milo, age 10 in California. Peter and Lee also read more stories written by kids in the latest installment of Story Love.

Scroll down for the original stories behind the episode!

We need your help finishing our season, and we’re offering personalized videos from Story Pirates Podcast hosts and more! Learn more HERE!

Illustration by Camila Franklin

The Birthday Fiasco

by Carmella, age 7, Canada

There was a cat named Shadow. She was a black cat. It was her friend’s birthday. When she was about to wrap the present, something stole it!

So she called the Animal Buddies. There was a fox. There was a rabbit. There was a pig. And there was a dog. She explained what happened.

Then when they got there, they found a trail of wrapping paper. They followed it through the city. Until they reached a pile of birthday presents in a corner of the city.

Then unexpectedly Mr Bad Cow said “You’ll never stop me from stealing these presents mwah ha ha ha haaaaa!"

“We’ll see about that” said Super Fox.

“Oh yeah?” Said Mr Bad Cow

Then they chased him into a dumpster and Super Dog said “Who’s gonna get each other now?”

And then CLICK

The Super Rabbit and the Super Pig put handcuffs on Mr Bad Cow and together Super Rabbit, Super Pig, Super Fox, and Super Dog said “GOT YOU!”

“Oh fine I’ll return all the presents” said Mr Bad Cow

So then the black cat got the present to her friend’s party.

The End

The Backwards Hat

by Milo, age 10, California
A man finds a top hat that makes things backwards. For example he put it on, and cats are chasing dogs, and instead of people planting gardens, gardens are planting people. As the story goes on, things get wackier and wackier, and he starts to like the hat, and keeps wearing it. Instead of walking his dog, the dog walks him. Instead of riding his horse at the ranch, the horse rides him. He doesn't like that. But then at night, the dogs and horse make him dinner, which tastes really good, and then his kids put him to bed. He really likes that! Nowadays he sometimes wears the hat but not all the time.

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Story Love Stories

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Theater Class with Sleepy Sally

by Finola, age 10, Idaho

This stores about 3 characters, The theater teacher, Sleepy Sally, and the narrator, "who is the N-A-R-O-R-A-T-O-R" uh Me. Ahem, One sunny morning on Flirby Drive Sleepy Sally was rushing about , getting her things for theater A.K.A. falling asleep every 2 seconds! When she finally got there they were already through half of class! luckily she was on time for auditions. she auditioned for a cat named snuffles. 2 WEEKS LATER.... Yay I YAWN got the YAWN part!Thanks theater teacher. It's all right, and by the way my name is May-yes yes I know, no not you narrator!Oh okay, so the day of the play It was Sleepy Sallys time for a solo and she was so tired that she tripped up the stairs. as the lights shined on her the warmth from them made her even more tired that she fell asleep ON THE STAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The director had to wake her up and shoo her of the stage,May was soooo embarrassed. and................. THE END!!!!!!!!!!

Nuclear Nosepicker

by Cirrus, age 8, Michigan

Once there was a boy who picked his nose. He took his boogers and made a super, big ball. Then he put some nuclear waste on the giant booger ball. A few moments later, it turned into Booger Man!

The nose picking boy went into his room and saw Booger Man. He saw a scary, bright green, slimy, two-armed, dumb blob.

Suddenly, nose picking boy ran to his parents. He told his parents to look in his room. The parents were busy looking at the Halloween costumes. They all ran to the boy’s room to see the Booger Man. His mom and dad did not see the Booger Man but the nose picking boy did. The parents are confused! The nose picking boy is worried.

The Booger Man has feelings too! He feels lonely.

In the other room, nose picking boy’s sister was making a giant booger ball. She found a nuclear waste can, just before she put it on her booger ball nose picking boy burst in. He loudly said, “NOOOOOO!”

But he was too late! She dropped the nuclear waste can. They walked out of the room to talk about the booger ball mixed with nuclear waste. Nose picking girl walked into her room and screamed! “There is a big Booger Woman!”

She ran to her parents and told them about the Booger Woman, all of it. They all went to her room, but the parents did not see the Booger Woman. The parents were disappointed. The nose picking girl was worried.

The Booger Woman also has feelings. She feels lonely.

The Booger Man went to the nose picking girl’s room. The Booger Woman saw Booger Man and fell in love.

Then! Then! The end!

The Goo on My Window

by Leah, age 11, Vermont

Aaak! Eeek! There’s a strange, horrendous, oogly bogly, ishy, squatchy, gooey, globby, moist towelette flavored streak of shining white (with a little brown and green in it) goo on my window! It’s making my town of Burgly Bergonson very upset! Whatever shall I doooooooooooo?!

*Ding dong, ding dong* “yes hello?” I say as I pick up my hard pickle phone. “I hear you are having trouble with dodo bird snot.” says a coconut drink hat wearing squishy pig face man named Jeffery Baloney (Don’t ask me how I know that). “Uh, no Sir Jeffery Baloney, it’s goo.” “THAT’S WHAT I SAID!” Suddenly, he hangs up with a loud *bagalisous*! Hmmmmmmm. That was a very well good conversation. Don’t correct my grammar Daddy! Now, back to staring at the goo with a donkey on my butt.

3 DAYS LATER…

“All clean! It only took five screws, a capybara key chain, the presidents address, a green flavored popsicle, a 243mm crochet hook, a paper mache flower, and a pineapple shoelace from New Jersey but your window is goooooooo free!” Says a random rat named Bitzee Boing Boing.

HOOOORRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAA!!

“The end” said the goo. Wait, THE GOO?!

Mosquito Chef/Suing Dinos

Rachel and Siegfried unknowingly compete against each other with their chair-building startups. Featuring two new stories: “The Mosquito Chef”, about a mosquito who can’t stop eating other bugs, written by Shalva, age 9, Adiv, age 7, and Elena, age 9, from Illinois, and “Suing Dinos”, a story about a dinosaur dentist who is accused of malpractice, written by siblings Olaniyi, age 10, and Olaiya, age 4, from Missouri. Peter and Lee also read more stories written by kids in the latest installment of Story Love.

Scroll down for the original stories behind the episode!

We need your help finishing our season, and we’re offering personalized videos from Story Pirates Podcast hosts and more! Learn more HERE!

Illustration by Camila Franklin

Mosquito Chef

by Shalva (age 9), Adiv (age 7), and Elena (age 9), Illinois

Once upon a time there was a mosquito who wanted to be a chef, so he did. "Chef, yay." And then he got a cooking talk show on the Bug Network in Bug Land. But he kept eating every bug.

Mosquito Chef invited bugs onto his cooking show, "Now I have my own show and I show people how to cook. My first person is Bug, yep, his name is Bug."

"Hi Everyone, my name is Bug and I finally get to go on the most famous bug talk show of all time."

But Mosquito Chef was secretly eating bugs. "I am going to eat you."

Bug, "Aaahhh!"

This is how it happened. The bug that is getting interviewed has his interview done. But after the mosquito chef (by the way his name is chef mor skedow) he'd take them back stage and then eat them.

And then all the people would question where did that bug go.

The bug police found out it was chef Mosquito who was eating bugs the whole time. "Hey I remember you, You are a mosquito who keeps eating everybody. You are under arrest. You are going to jail."

But in jail he met a talking dog! And the dog had a plan to get out! So they went into the sewers and then they partied and danced.

The End!

Suing Dinos:

Sueing Dinos 1#: The Worse dinotist

by Olaniyi, age 10, New York
A kid named Olaiya (my brother) goes to the dentists that is ran by a t-rex and the whole dentistry
is made out of unhealthy foods and the t-rex dentist just makes Olaiya's teeth worse than before so Olaiya sued the t-rex dentist.

Suing Dinos: Dino Fun

by Olaiya, Age 4, New York

Dinosaurs are getting sued alot now dinosaurs want to sue humans and the first one they will sue is olaniyi.

Click to Read Original Stories from Other Episodes.

Story Love Stories

Scroll down to read the original stories or watch Peter, Lee, and special guest Nimene read them and react below:

A Planet in the Black Hole

by Tessa, age 7, Wisconsin

Allison looked online for advice, "Does the black hole have any planets?" Reply: No.

Then when she asked her mom, "Mom, does the black hole have any planets?" Her mom said no.

One day she went to outer space. She went to the black hole. And she went into the black hole and looked and looked, and when she saw a planet, she hugged it! Then she saw a banana on the planet. Then she saw a palace with a king banana, a queen banana, and of course, a princess banana, and a prince banana. Then Allison realized that this is a Banana Planet! The queen banana welcomed her to our Banana Planet in the Black Hole. The queen asked Allison, "Do you want to stay?" "Um..................yes! I want to stay," said "Princess" Allison. Ok but then right as "Princess" Allison went to her room, something happened to the banana villagers! The banana villagers got hypnotized by the oranges. And the bananas are saying, "I am an orange, we love you queen orange." Then Allison realized that the king was not hypnotized and she asked the king, "Could you pour this cup of medicine on the queen's head?" So the king did and the queen got cured. And the villagers thanked Allison so much and she would visit every day. The end.

The Flooby Store

by Yehuda, age 14, Florida

Opposite World

by Halina, age 7, China

McShaggybutt says, “I wear a mixer. And I cook with a dress. Oww, the mixer mixed me! Oww, the dress burned me! I’m so angry at my mixer that I planted it in the ground. And now I’m going to water it so much so it doesn’t grow. I’m going to bed, and I’m sleeping in a dehumidifier. And the bed is getting all the water out of the air for me. I waked up! I’m going out for my morning walk. Oh no, a giant mixer grew! Well, I guess I’ll just wear it. OK, here I go to wear the giant mixer. Oh no, I turned giant!”

The End.

The Ancient History of Mr. Lollypants and His 27 Tears

Today’s episode features a brand new story written by over a hundred different members of the Story Pirates Creator Club!

The next Create a Story session is coming up on Friday, January 23rd @ 7pm ET

Grownups, your kids can join Peter and Lee to make a new story in a virtual Create a Story session and hear it come to life on the podcast! Create a Story Zooms happen four times per year for our Premium Creator Club members. To join us, sign up for a Premium membership at storypirates.com/creatorclub

All Creator Club memberships also include Podcast Plus, where you can hear even more bonus episodes like this one and listen to the Story Pirates Podcast ad-free!

Scroll down for the original stories behind the episode!

We need your help finishing our season, and we’re offering personalized videos from Story Pirates Podcast hosts and more! Learn more HERE!

Illustration by Camila Franklin

The Ancient History of Mr. Lollypants and His 27 Tears

by Creator Club!

Mr. Lollypants is a lollipop, but he’s sad because he’s not sweet; he’s sour. He lives in a gingerbread house. He walks out of his house, and he sees something. A sign!. A stop sign, it’s red and white, just like a CIRCUS TENT. He calls his friend Joe the Coconut. He’s basically a coconut with stick arms. He’s tiny. He struggles to get the phone. He pulls around a stool with lots of steps on it.

Mr. Lollypants: “I’ve got another one of my ideas!”

JOE THE COCONUT: “What is it this time?” He explains.

JOE THE COCONUT: “Stop right there, I know what we have to do first! We should make it in the basement of a restaurant.”

It’s an Ice cream store that only sells mint chocolate chip. Owner is Banana Joe. But they need to raise money. They have a fundraiser selling bugs to butterflies for the first show. At the first show that they ever do something goes totally wrong. They don’t have any of the requirements,. They just start playing music, and everyone says BOOO!!!! Becuase there are no acts. It goes so poorly that he quits. “My dream is dead! Go home, everybody,” to everyone he hired (which is no one).

“This was harder than I thought”

Joe says, “STOP - Listen to me. I have a new partner. My manager, Frogsworth the chicken will help us, make a speech (also banana joe)”

“Lollypants, you're the biggest lollypop I know, and you are so great, and when was the last time you were at a circus? Two minutes ago, so you have to make a circus!”

27 years over 27 tears. Finally they did it. They opened their big top and it was opening night of the final version of the show (that we heard about at the beginning). He calls the whole cast and crew together “I have a gift for all of you to show you how much I appreciate you all.” Here’s a Wet Dog From France for each of you! “They walk around and are all like,” barkety barkety guys. ' They are pocket sized.

Click to Read Original Stories from Other Episodes.

Story Love Stories

Scroll down to read the original stories or watch Peter, Lee, and special guest Nimene read them and react below:

The Case of the Third Person INfection

by Rosa, age 10, Tennessee

Its another day for me Rick Lawson when someone walks into my...Wait, do I have to talk about myself in third person? What is the point? I, Rick Lawson... No I did it again! Why oh why must this happen to me Rick Lawson... Noooooo I did it again!! Have I always done this? Lets look at my baby pictures. And after some close examination by me I realized... Hey I did it! I didn't say it in third person!! I am gonna go convince other detectives to stop this bad habit! That's the daily case for me, Rick Lawson! Darn it I said it again! Well time to stop this curse! Hey Vicky Burns! Hi Rick Lawson! Its another day for me, Vicky Burns when... Wait wait wait Vicky stop doing that! Doing what? Talking in third person! Okay I Vicky Burns will try! Bye! Alright time to go help Matt Hayes. Hey Matt Hayes! Hey Rick Lawson! Its another.. No No No don't say its another day for me Matt Hayes ok? Why? That's how I Matt Hayes talks. I don't care how you talk its infecting your brain! But I have to! Hey you did it! Bye! Hopefully they will spread the word. Hey I haven't said I Rick Lawson or me Rick Lawson all day! Pretty much. I beat the infection!!!

Carson the Capybara

by El, age 9, California

Once upon a time, there was a horse that had blinkers on its butt. Because he was the only horse around with blinkers on his butt, he felt a little sad because he was so different. Other horses and animals would ask him, “Why do you have blinkers on your butt?” but he just didn’t know, and he felt a little embarrassed. One day, he was galloping down the highway, and he noticed someone's car had broken down. He asked how he could help. The person said, “I don’t know! Can you fix my car?!”. The horse did not know how to fix a car and sadly said, “I’m sorry, but I don’t know if I can help you”. Just then, he had an idea! “Oh! I cannot fix your car, but I can give you a ride!”. The person thought for a second, “but wait, can you go on a road?” The horse made a big grin, and he said, “Check it out, I have blinkers on my butt!” They both started laughing, and the person hopped on. The horse with the blinker butt started galloping down the highway and the man made it to work on time. From then on, the horse loved his left and his blinker butt—the end.

The Guy Who Sells Skyscrapers

by Colin, age 8, Texas

Just another good day of selling skyscrapers for me, the skyscraper guy. Today, somebody walks into the store and they ask for a skyscraper. I say “sure, how tall?” The person thinks for a second and says “1,000 feet.” Then I ask - “Where you like it?” He replies “On top of town hall.”

“Ok,” I say. I get into my crane, I put it on top of town hall but the whole building starts to wobble…. Then…. IT CRASHES and all the skyscrapers start rolling everywhere!!! So I call my alien friends….

I went to space once, I met some aliens and we had a little talk. We traded stuff for a bit and became friends. While I was there I accidentally got hit by an alien ray and it gave me the superpower of telekinesis! Then they gave me a little com to talk to them whenever I needed to. (This translated so I can understand the alien’s language. I didn’t know how handy this would be later…

So here I am, skyscapers rolling everywhere, people running and screaming and suddenly I remember - “I can call the aliens!” My com is a little bit rusty, but it still works! The aliens reply “That’s no problem! We need skyscrapers anyway!” All of the troops of aliens show up and take the skyscrapers back to their planet.

They find out that some power lines broke… Then I say “I have an idea…” Then I snap the power line cord but I found one that’s super tight - but it secretly goes up to the aliens and we are able to still talk. Then I put the one skyscraper I wanted to keep back at my house. I climbed up to the top…. Did a backflip off and shouted - “THE END!

The Horrible Pizza/Demons

It’s National Referee Day (again) and the Story Pirates are determined to show Smitty a good time. Featuring two new stories: “The Horrible Pizza,” a flashback-laden chronicle of the unlikely origins of a mythic pizza shop, written by Kiaan and Haley, two siblings from California, and “Demons,” a cautionary tale about what happens to many (most?) families when they go on vacation together, written by an 8 year old from Missouri named Ira. Peter and Lee also read more stories written by kids in the latest installment of Story Love.

Scroll down for the original stories behind the episode!

We need your help finishing our season, and we’re offering personalized videos from Story Pirates Podcast hosts and more! Learn more HERE!

Illustration by Camila Franklin

The Horrible Pizza

by Kiaan, age 9, and Haley, age 7, California

Once upon a time, there were 2 siblings named Kiaan & Haley at an Italian restaurant. They ordered a lot of food including a large pizza. And then Haley & Kiaan took a big bite of the pizza. “BLEGH!!!” yelled the two. They called the manager, and he stomped on top of the table and asked, “Is this about the pizza?” They both said “Yes. Why is it so BAD?” (flashback sequence of owner begins) Two people walked down the sidewalk. The owner yells “You two! You're perfect for the job! Into my kitchen! Now!” (Owner flashback sequence ends
The owner ran into the kitchen and slapped the chefs in the face. “You two didn’t go to culinary school! We’re getting complaints on the pizza!”, the owner said. “Actually, we didn’t go. You just picked us off the sidewalk.” said the employees.
“Mama Mia! Now I must hire a better chef!” said the owner. And that’s what he did and fired the other employees. He hired a master chef named Bob. Bob had great ratings from other people, but he was too expensive for other people. 
“Hello my guy! How’s it going’?” said Bob. “Ummmm…Good!” said the owner worried that he had picked out the wrong chef again. “You want to make a good pizza? Huh. Well, here’s a probably 2 minute & 30 second montage of how to make a perfect pizza.” said Bob.
(Song starts with the tune of The Wheels on The Bus) 
“This is how you make a pizza that’s de-li-cious, de-li-cious de-li-cious! This is how you make a pizza that’s de-li-cious, to finish your Italian restraunt!
Put the dough on a baking sheet, baking sheet, baking sheet! Put the dough on a baking sheet, to make your pizza right!” 
“Whatever” said the chef, not interested. 
“Now put your sauce on the pi-i-zza, spread it out, nice and right! Now put your sauce on the pi-i-zza to make it nice and right! 
Now put your cheese on the pi-i-zza, pi-i-zza, pi-i-zza! Now put your cheese on the pi-i-zza, to make it nice and right! 
Now put your toppings on your pi-i-zza, pi-i-zza, pi-i-zza! Now put your toppings on your pi-i-zza only if the costumer asked! 
Now put the pizza in the pizza box, pizza box, pizza box! Now put the pizza in the pizza box to finish your pizza off!” (song ends) 
“Wow. Did you choreograph that all yourself?” asked the owner “Nope! Improvised all of it!” Answered Bob “Okay. You're hired for sure.” Said the owner “Thank you.” Said Bob
From that day on, the pizzeria was even more popular from the start! Even Kiaan & Haley loved it. “That was truly a good change owner.” Said Bob “Yes. I know.” Said the owner. (Narrator speaks) “A few hundred years later the pizza shop was rusty & dirty. It had spider webs on it. The alleyway next to the shop was stinky. But we all know the real story to that particular glorious pizzeria.” The Owner & Bob came out both with very very very very very very very very very very long beards. “You know what?” said Old Bob “What?” (Uplifting music plays) said Old Owner “We were very good at our jobs.” Answered Old Bob “Wow.” Old Owner said with a tear dropping down his face. “And also we got shut down by the pizza critics for getting white beard hairs in our pizza.” Said Bob (Uplifting music stops) “Nooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Screamed Old Owner.
The End | Fin
PS: Please preform this at October show in San Francisco because we are going to be there.

Demons

by Ira, Age 8, Missouri

Click to Read Original Stories from Other Episodes.

Story Love Stories

Scroll down to read the original stories or watch Peter, Lee, and special guest Nimene read them and react below:

I Want to Marry a Dog!

by Sophie, age 10, Massachusetts

While I don't truly want to marry a dog, the poem is inspired by my deep affection for my dog, Jasmine, a 16-month-old Pomeranian who is nothing short of a cuddle. I hope you’ll enjoy it and consider including it.

The Blinker Butt Horse

by Cedar, age 6, Minnesota

Once upon a time, there was a horse that had blinkers on its butt. Because he was the only horse around with blinkers on his butt, he felt a little sad because he was so different. Other horses and animals would ask him, “Why do you have blinkers on your butt?” but he just didn’t know, and he felt a little embarrassed. One day, he was galloping down the highway, and he noticed someone's car had broken down. He asked how he could help. The person said, “I don’t know! Can you fix my car?!”. The horse did not know how to fix a car and sadly said, “I’m sorry, but I don’t know if I can help you”. Just then, he had an idea! “Oh! I cannot fix your car, but I can give you a ride!”. The person thought for a second, “but wait, can you go on a road?” The horse made a big grin, and he said, “Check it out, I have blinkers on my butt!” They both started laughing, and the person hopped on. The horse with the blinker butt started galloping down the highway and the man made it to work on time. From then on, the horse loved his left and his blinker butt—the end.

Ice Cream Gas

by Marina, age 5, Texas

(Yawn) Good morning, Lily!

Good morning, Tom!

It's time to drive our car to go the famous show! I hope we'll be on time for it. And I hope that our car doesn't run out of gas.

Here we go! Vroommm!

It didn't actually go! It ran out of gas again!

Oh no, mine is ran out of gas too!

I think we have an idea. Mine has enough gas to go to the gas station.

Mine too!

Let's go! Vroom!

We're here at the gas station. Let's fill up our car.

Glug glug glug glug glug.

Our cars are full of gas. Let's get back in! Okay, we turned our car on. And our car is ready to go! Wait, it didn't actually really go after we got a gas refill.

Oh no! Our cars are starting to freeze up! What's happening to our cars?!

Let's check the gas. I guess this door didn't freeze. I know, because it's the hottest door in the car.

Me, too. This one is, too.

Hoo! We got out of the car. Let's check our gas. Let's see...

Oh no! What happened to this gas?!

It... has turned... to ICE CREAMMMMMM!

That's why our cars were frozen! Our cars were full of ice cream, because the gas was ice cream! Naaaa!

Oh! I noticed that the sign on all of the gas stations said... ICE CREAM GAS! Noooooo!

Hooof! I guess we have to go to Southvania to get the gas refilled.

Okay, here we go. On an airplane. Let's go! Vwoooshhh!

We're here at Southvania.

Oh no, look at this gas station sign. It says HOT DOG GAS!

Noooo!

I guess it's the end of the story. Okay!

The End!