It’s National Referee Day (again) and the Story Pirates are determined to show Smitty a good time. Featuring two new stories: “The Horrible Pizza,” a flashback-laden chronicle of the unlikely origins of a mythic pizza shop, written by Kiaan and Haley, two siblings from California, and “Demons,” a cautionary tale about what happens to many (most?) families when they go on vacation together, written by an 8 year old from Missouri named Ira. Peter and Lee also read more stories written by kids in the latest installment of Story Love.
Scroll down for the original stories behind the episode!
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Illustration by Camila Franklin
The Horrible Pizza
by Kiaan, age 9, and Haley, age 7, California
Once upon a time, there were 2 siblings named Kiaan & Haley at an Italian restaurant. They ordered a lot of food including a large pizza. And then Haley & Kiaan took a big bite of the pizza. “BLEGH!!!” yelled the two. They called the manager, and he stomped on top of the table and asked, “Is this about the pizza?” They both said “Yes. Why is it so BAD?” (flashback sequence of owner begins) Two people walked down the sidewalk. The owner yells “You two! You're perfect for the job! Into my kitchen! Now!” (Owner flashback sequence ends
The owner ran into the kitchen and slapped the chefs in the face. “You two didn’t go to culinary school! We’re getting complaints on the pizza!”, the owner said. “Actually, we didn’t go. You just picked us off the sidewalk.” said the employees.
“Mama Mia! Now I must hire a better chef!” said the owner. And that’s what he did and fired the other employees. He hired a master chef named Bob. Bob had great ratings from other people, but he was too expensive for other people.
“Hello my guy! How’s it going’?” said Bob. “Ummmm…Good!” said the owner worried that he had picked out the wrong chef again. “You want to make a good pizza? Huh. Well, here’s a probably 2 minute & 30 second montage of how to make a perfect pizza.” said Bob.
(Song starts with the tune of The Wheels on The Bus)
“This is how you make a pizza that’s de-li-cious, de-li-cious de-li-cious! This is how you make a pizza that’s de-li-cious, to finish your Italian restraunt!
Put the dough on a baking sheet, baking sheet, baking sheet! Put the dough on a baking sheet, to make your pizza right!”
“Whatever” said the chef, not interested.
“Now put your sauce on the pi-i-zza, spread it out, nice and right! Now put your sauce on the pi-i-zza to make it nice and right!
Now put your cheese on the pi-i-zza, pi-i-zza, pi-i-zza! Now put your cheese on the pi-i-zza, to make it nice and right!
Now put your toppings on your pi-i-zza, pi-i-zza, pi-i-zza! Now put your toppings on your pi-i-zza only if the costumer asked!
Now put the pizza in the pizza box, pizza box, pizza box! Now put the pizza in the pizza box to finish your pizza off!” (song ends)
“Wow. Did you choreograph that all yourself?” asked the owner “Nope! Improvised all of it!” Answered Bob “Okay. You're hired for sure.” Said the owner “Thank you.” Said Bob
From that day on, the pizzeria was even more popular from the start! Even Kiaan & Haley loved it. “That was truly a good change owner.” Said Bob “Yes. I know.” Said the owner. (Narrator speaks) “A few hundred years later the pizza shop was rusty & dirty. It had spider webs on it. The alleyway next to the shop was stinky. But we all know the real story to that particular glorious pizzeria.” The Owner & Bob came out both with very very very very very very very very very very long beards. “You know what?” said Old Bob “What?” (Uplifting music plays) said Old Owner “We were very good at our jobs.” Answered Old Bob “Wow.” Old Owner said with a tear dropping down his face. “And also we got shut down by the pizza critics for getting white beard hairs in our pizza.” Said Bob (Uplifting music stops) “Nooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Screamed Old Owner.
The End | Fin
PS: Please preform this at October show in San Francisco because we are going to be there.
Demons
by Ira, Age 8, Missouri
Story Love Stories
Scroll down to read the original stories or watch Peter, Lee, and special guest Nimene read them and react below:
I Want to Marry a Dog!
by Sophie, age 10, Massachusetts
While I don't truly want to marry a dog, the poem is inspired by my deep affection for my dog, Jasmine, a 16-month-old Pomeranian who is nothing short of a cuddle. I hope you’ll enjoy it and consider including it.
The Blinker Butt Horse
by Cedar, age 6, Minnesota
Once upon a time, there was a horse that had blinkers on its butt. Because he was the only horse around with blinkers on his butt, he felt a little sad because he was so different. Other horses and animals would ask him, “Why do you have blinkers on your butt?” but he just didn’t know, and he felt a little embarrassed. One day, he was galloping down the highway, and he noticed someone's car had broken down. He asked how he could help. The person said, “I don’t know! Can you fix my car?!”. The horse did not know how to fix a car and sadly said, “I’m sorry, but I don’t know if I can help you”. Just then, he had an idea! “Oh! I cannot fix your car, but I can give you a ride!”. The person thought for a second, “but wait, can you go on a road?” The horse made a big grin, and he said, “Check it out, I have blinkers on my butt!” They both started laughing, and the person hopped on. The horse with the blinker butt started galloping down the highway and the man made it to work on time. From then on, the horse loved his left and his blinker butt—the end.
Ice Cream Gas
by Marina, age 5, Texas
(Yawn) Good morning, Lily!
Good morning, Tom!
It's time to drive our car to go the famous show! I hope we'll be on time for it. And I hope that our car doesn't run out of gas.
Here we go! Vroommm!
It didn't actually go! It ran out of gas again!
Oh no, mine is ran out of gas too!
I think we have an idea. Mine has enough gas to go to the gas station.
Mine too!
Let's go! Vroom!
We're here at the gas station. Let's fill up our car.
Glug glug glug glug glug.
Our cars are full of gas. Let's get back in! Okay, we turned our car on. And our car is ready to go! Wait, it didn't actually really go after we got a gas refill.
Oh no! Our cars are starting to freeze up! What's happening to our cars?!
Let's check the gas. I guess this door didn't freeze. I know, because it's the hottest door in the car.
Me, too. This one is, too.
Hoo! We got out of the car. Let's check our gas. Let's see...
Oh no! What happened to this gas?!
It... has turned... to ICE CREAMMMMMM!
That's why our cars were frozen! Our cars were full of ice cream, because the gas was ice cream! Naaaa!
Oh! I noticed that the sign on all of the gas stations said... ICE CREAM GAS! Noooooo!
Hooof! I guess we have to go to Southvania to get the gas refilled.
Okay, here we go. On an airplane. Let's go! Vwoooshhh!
We're here at Southvania.
Oh no, look at this gas station sign. It says HOT DOG GAS!
Noooo!
I guess it's the end of the story. Okay!
The End!
