The Mad Piano Player/The Aristocrats Strike Back (feat. Josh Gondelman)

Illustration by Camilla Franklin

Illustration by Camilla Franklin

The Story Pirates meet a gas station attendant (Josh Gondelman) who likes to tell excruciatingly long and boring stories. Featuring two new stories: “The Mad Piano Player,” a song about a boy who plays an explosive piano piece for the king, written by an 8 year old from Dubai named Kenan, and “The Aristocrats Strike Back,” a historical fiction story about peasants and aristocrats addressing inequality, written by Charlotte, a 9 year old from Nebraska. Read on for the original stories!

Original Stories

The Mad Piano Player

Kenan, Age 8, Dubai

One day there was a little boy that was just born. He growed up to be a piano player. He played that much piano that his fingers started to blow up with muscles. One day his mom got a message and it said “we want piano player in the Kings palace.” So the little boy went to the palace on a super fast Bugatti. 
When he came in the palace, he was welcomed with a big parade. And at last he came to the kings throne. The king asked him to play one of his biggest piano pieces BUT…he had a secret beautiful piano piece that he never played for anyone. He decided to play not a baby song and not his secret song. So he decided to play his fourth great piano piece and the King was super impressed. He asked if the piano player could play a better one. The piano player decided to play his pieces that was from 8th grade. The king was impressed by this one too. But, that wasn’t enough!
The child was fuming. He played one of his 10th grade piano pieces. When he was playing smoke came out of the keys. The king started to get excited and wondered if the kid had a secret. He asked the piano player if he had a secret song. The piano player turned pale and didn’t speak. The king understood so he said, “Ill put you in the dungeon if you don’t play that piece!” 
The piano player started to play his secret piece. In the middle of the song, fire was bursting from the tip of the kids fingers. And at last, the piano explodes….BOOM!
The king fainted. He was so impressed he had to go the hospital. The boy was a little bit sad and happy. He was sad that he played his piece to the king and he was happy that the piano exploded so he couldn’t play more. The child went home and took a nice shower. Cooled his hands down, brushed his teeth, put his pajamas on and went to bed. 

The Aristocrats Strike Back

Charlotte, Age 9, Nebraska

Once upon a time in medieval France, a bunch of poor people said “We don’t have enough food.. to feed our families! It’s the Aristocrats fault! We must behead them!” And so one of the Aristocrats overheard them and screamed all the way home yelling “we’re going to die!!!!!!!!” but then one of the smart Aristocrats said “we must replace ourselves with dummies.” and then another person said “I have plenty of turnips in my seller, we can use them as the dummies heads.” And then her kid said “And they are big!” And so they made dummies out of sacks stuffed with hay for the bodies, turnip heads, and wooden arms and legs. They made about 1000 of these, dressed them in fancy clothes, and put them in the queen’s ballroom. Then the Aristocrats fled to Little Rock Arkansas. After about 2 months, they returned to France and attacked the poor people. Their attack failed. The Aristocrats made peace with the poor people and they all lived happily ever after.
The end

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